Saw my wife for the first time in 2 months last night.
We have been separated, no cheating, no abuse, just really kinda got miserable with each other and something had to change... and while the first month was pretty hard... She was talking divorce... I went total no contact, and in the past few weeks we have started talking again, and very carefully, and with a little hesitation bringing up the idea of trying to reconcile.
So we finally decide to meet.
First 10min are a little awkward, but we agreed it was very nice to see each other again.
After 2 hours of nonstop awesomeness... Laughing, talking, no negativity, no relationship talk, just good times and smiles all around, we head out to leave...
We have a few seconds standing there... I stick out my cheek hoping I can get a kiss on the cheek, totally nervous... She does... A few times, and then just starts smooching me on the mouth... My heart jumped.
We are going to see each other again soon, and she emailed me today and told me what an awesome time she had.
I was so happy when I read this-I almost cried. Kinda reminds me of my H and I. I'm just hoping that we can get back together one of these days. And like you and your wife, we got kinda miserable with each other-too much fighting, along with his EA.
Good luck-I'm wishing you two all of the best.
I'm going back and forth tonight about texting her to see if she would like to get together again soon.
She hardly ever contacts me, so I have this strange feeling telling me I need to wait for her to initiate.
But at the same time, I am a gentleman who understands the rules of courtship!
Women liked to be chased, right?
Of course they do. This is a little different though you know that. I think its ok if you send a text/email, saying you dont want to be pushy but really felt nice the other night and you're hoping to get to know her more (you can pretend a little that you're totally at the beginning).
Say that because you want to respect her space you will wait for her to let you know if she wants more but you REALLY do!!
So thats kinda the reason for the "prompt" making sure she knows your being respectful but desiring at the same time.
So she knows you want her but she needs to take a step to contact you back (because you're being repectful).
This way, you're getting the feedback that, "she wants you" and you're not getting too far, setting yourself up for hurt.
Kidding... Of course anyone is open to tell me what they think.
When this first happened, I mean, like when we were officially splitting up, I asked if there was another guy. She said no, and I left it at that.
I know now, that if there was another guy, she probably wouldn't have just told me right then and there in the heat of battle.
I had done some internet stalking, along with gently trying to get it out of her friends a month or so ago, because, well, if there WAS another guy, that would basically be a deal breaker for me. I think a part of me was almost hoping to find that out so I could just say "screw it" and move on.
I found nothing.
I'm not talking about her having too much to drink and sleeping with someone, btw... If that happens, it happens, lord knows I have been close a few times in the last month... But ive resisted. I'm talking about her actually seeing someone, going on dates, all that stuff.
And now with the way things are going between her and I, it sure doesn't seem like there ever was another guy. She is a good person, and has a good heart, and I really just can't see her stringing me along like this and seeing someone else on the side at the same time.
HOWEVER... You never know, do you?
So my question is this...
Do I even bother to ask if there is someone else in the picture right now? And if so, how the hell do I do that with things seeming to be going so good between us? I mean, I dont want to offend her, you know? I dont want to have things be going so good between us and then I bust in there all "WHO ELSE IS THERE TELL ME DAMMIT!!!" and ruin everything.
Do I just let it go... Trusting her and trusting my internet Sherlock Holmes-ing and my gut that there is nobody else and just never even bring it up to her?
Thing is... If she is seeing someone else, along with me, I would walk, no questions asked.