When is enough, enough - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Reconciliation This forum is for those focused on reconciliation and success stories from people who have been through separation and reconciled successfully.

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post #16 of 66 (permalink) Old 10-23-2009, 07:49 PM
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Re: When is enough, enough

Thank you so much for the inspiration! i am starting to believe that tine may be able to heal all wounds! best of luck to you and your family!


loving mother and devoted wife, I will endure this pain with the faith, hope and love i have for my family!
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post #17 of 66 (permalink) Old 02-15-2010, 01:13 PM Thread Starter
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Re: When is enough, enough

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The only thing missing is that my wife still does not have that "in love" feeling for me. I've not heard her say I love you in 2 1/2 years.
For years my wife had built an emotional wall around herself to protect herself in what was a very unhappy marriage. The barrier was built with the strongest brick, mortar and rebar she could muster. She built it well. Bringing down that wall proved to be one of the most difficult challenges of my life. At times it felt impenetrable. But another breach occurred in it a few weeks ago. Those three little words she couldn't find in her to say to me slipped out. They have been repeated on several occasions since. So our story progresses again in a positive direction. I know she still searches for the Eros love for me and I think she will eventually get there. But for now, this was just one more step in the process. Good luck all.

Amp

Confidence Love Patience Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.

"Some of the greatest lessons life has taught me came from my darkest days in it" -Amp
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post #18 of 66 (permalink) Old 02-17-2010, 08:54 AM
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Re: When is enough, enough

You are a stronger and better man than I. I applaud you on the fortitude and courage it took to reclaim the most wonderful prize life has to offer, a sound marriage. LIL
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post #19 of 66 (permalink) Old 02-17-2010, 11:50 AM Thread Starter
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Re: When is enough, enough

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You are a stronger and better man than I.
Thank you for the kind words, LIL. Greatly appreciated but I have kept up with most of your threads and story and I hardly consider myself a better man. I've seen your efforts, pain and sacrifices in trying to recover your marriage. You explored all avenues available to you and didn't just say screw it at the first obstacle, or the second or third as many do. It is I that commend you. I am not a better man but perhaps more fortunate in that my wife was willing to make the changes, sacrifices and accept her portion of the fault in the demise of a once near perfect marriage. You have not had that advantage in your quest and I am so sorry. It does take two to recover a marriage that goes so far south. I wish your wife had given you, your marriage and your family the proper respect and effort for a better outcome. Bless and best of luck as you move forward to a new phase in your life.

Amp

Confidence Love Patience Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.

"Some of the greatest lessons life has taught me came from my darkest days in it" -Amp
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post #20 of 66 (permalink) Old 02-25-2010, 10:47 AM
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Re: When is enough, enough

Glad to see things are still moving forward Amp...great news indeed!
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post #21 of 66 (permalink) Old 03-16-2010, 12:48 PM
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Re: When is enough, enough

Thank you so much for sharing this uplifting testimony of your marriage and its journey. Sure gives me hope to rebuilt my own marriage.

"Perhabs our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in awhile, so that we can see life with a clearer view again." - Alex Tan
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post #22 of 66 (permalink) Old 04-09-2010, 04:14 PM
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Re: When is enough, enough

Three cheers!!

Hip, hip ... Hooray!
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post #23 of 66 (permalink) Old 09-22-2010, 02:31 AM
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Re: When is enough, enough

I applaud you....and your wife...at least she gave your marriage a chance. My husband does not want to...he does not even see how I am also hurting and how we are to blame for our marriage's demise. If anything it's all my fault
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post #24 of 66 (permalink) Old 09-30-2010, 07:37 AM
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Re: When is enough, enough

Thanks for posting your story, Amp. It made my day!!!
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post #25 of 66 (permalink) Old 10-17-2010, 10:18 PM
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Re: When is enough, enough

Thanks for sharing! It made me cry.

One thing I realized in whatever I am going through right now, love is not enough to win back the person you love. Mine was not enough for the father of my son to give our marriage and our family another chance.

Sad. But it is hard to push yourself to someone who obviously is not into you anymore.

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post #26 of 66 (permalink) Old 11-24-2010, 02:16 PM Thread Starter
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Re: When is enough, enough

On the eve of Thanksgiving I thought now would be a good time for an update. If you've read the full thread you'll know my wife and I are now three and a half years post discovery that our marriage was nearly at its end, her EA, divorce was almost unavoidable and the fact that I had not been the kind of husband I thought I was. Now, three and a half years later we have come full circle. I don't know exactly when it happened, it came without fan fair, celebration or a deep serious talk. My wife's actions told me over the past few months that she has fully returned to the marriage and that she holds the kind of love for me she did 25 years ago when we first fell in love. The brightness in her voice when she answers the phone, knowing I am calling. The look in her eyes when we first see each other after work. The closeness and warmth I feel when she sits down next to me to watch TV or enjoy a fire and some music. For us it was a long journey, difficult, nearly unbearable in the beginning. Slowly we drew back to each other. The trust and love grew and strengthened. It needs not be said, we love each other, we did what we had to do to sheppard our marriage back to happiness from the destruction and despair we both had a hand in creating. The years of neglect, the EA, the arguments and harsh moments are only a distant memory. The memories remain in my mind but not a memory of despair but as a benchmark that serves to remind me that no matter how good the marriage seems it can be very fragile if we don't remember the errs we made in the past, the lessons they taught us and the truly motivating pain in it all, the thought of losing her as my wife.

I spent a lot of time here on the forum, both giving advice and receiving it. There are many different theories, plans, strategies and opinions on how to recover a marriage and all have their merit in one situation or another. But here at this point, I still look back the four words I felt would bring us home. I put those words in my signature line when I officially joined TAM in early 2008. I've never changed them and today still feel they were a primary factor in our recovery. I continue to use them today to help propel us forward in marriage and life.

Tomorrow I will be particularly thankful for all I have. To sit at the head of the table, with my marriage in tact, our children around us and other family members and friends completely oblivious to the journey my wife and I have traveled. We managed to get through it without dragging everyone else along for the ride. All the better.

Bless you all and Happy Thanksgiving.

Amp

Confidence Love Patience Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.

"Some of the greatest lessons life has taught me came from my darkest days in it" -Amp

Last edited by Amplexor; 12-02-2010 at 02:18 PM.
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post #27 of 66 (permalink) Old 12-02-2010, 02:01 PM
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Re: When is enough, enough

Beautiful update, Amp. Thank you for sharing. Your story is inspiring for sure

~Swedish

No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.
Albert Einstein
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post #28 of 66 (permalink) Old 12-27-2010, 10:38 PM
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Re: When is enough, enough

Amp,

Your story is truly fantastic. It give me some kind of hope for the trouble in what is hopefully the infancy of our relationship(If you care to read the back-story, it is long but it is at this thread. Help!)

I too feel as if you are a better man than I. I don't know that I could wait so long to hear those three words...... They just mean so much, which I suppose, is what makes them so special when they are truly meant.

Best of luck and congrats,

Gfx
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post #29 of 66 (permalink) Old 02-22-2011, 10:27 PM
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Re: When is enough, enough

Perfect thread/story for me at the moment. The song My Next 30 Years just ran through my head.
I can only hope that my path follows yours and that my W has some breakthrough to get her on that path.
Good Luck and strength to all.
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post #30 of 66 (permalink) Old 02-26-2011, 01:29 PM
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Re: When is enough, enough

Such a good story, so many positives. I just wish that I was 3 years down the line instead of just 3 months. I have the 'Love', a modicum of 'faith' & 'confidence' but need to work on the 'Patience'

Keep posting, it is inspirational stuff.
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