When is enough, enough - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
Reconciliation This forum is for those focused on reconciliation and success stories from people who have been through separation and reconciled successfully.

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post #31 of 61 (permalink) Old 04-05-2011, 03:05 PM
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Re: When is enough, enough

Yes, great story and good to hear especially in light of my current situation. Lots of similarities. I hope my out come is as good. This has been an inspiration for me to hang in there.

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post #32 of 61 (permalink) Old 04-05-2011, 04:00 PM
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Re: When is enough, enough

Congratulations to you both!

Absolutely amazing.....gives me great hope in light of my current situation, which is very similar. I just pray that our separation will end soon, and my wife will too begin to find a portion of the love she once felt.
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post #33 of 61 (permalink) Old 10-24-2011, 02:24 PM
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Re: When is enough, enough

Thankyou so much for your updates.

Your posts give me hope that my 18 year marriage will survive his EA 6 months ago. I adore my husband but i am in so much pain. He is a good man but i know i need patience and understanding if we are to get through this.

I pray that we are as forunate and our marriage can survive, for our sake and for our 3 chidlren. x
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post #34 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-16-2012, 12:42 AM
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Re: When is enough, enough

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amplexor View Post
For years my wife had built an emotional wall around herself to protect herself in what was a very unhappy marriage. The barrier was built with the strongest brick, mortar and rebar she could muster. She built it well. Bringing down that wall proved to be one of the most difficult challenges of my life. At times it felt impenetrable. But another breach occurred in it a few weeks ago. Those three little words she couldn't find in her to say to me slipped out. They have been repeated on several occasions since. So our story progresses again in a positive direction. I know she still searches for the Eros love for me and I think she will eventually get there. But for now, this was just one more step in the process. Good luck all.
What a great journey. Thanks for sharing.

My wife built her wall a few years back. In addition, I struggled and withdrew myself during a tough job and then a year of unemployment.
Discovery of inappropriate emails/texts caused us to separate. 3 months into it, and I filed for D. After another 3 months of adverserial relations, I slammed on the breaks and sought MC, time, etc.

However, my wife remains disengaged, with no hope of R. We get along great. Our 2 small children have adjusted well. Maybe that's what makes it more painful. She is 2-3 years down her detachment road, where I am starting out again, with under a year of realization.

I want my marriage restored, but realize it will take way longer than I anticipated or hoped. And, most likely, even through D.

I'm on the path for me. 3 weeks into it. I pray and live minute to minute. baby steps.

It's the hardest and most painful thing I have ever experienced.
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post #35 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-19-2012, 09:23 PM
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Re: When is enough, enough

Amplexor was one of the biggest reasons I kept working at this.
Haven't been here in a while and don't know if you still are Amplexor but thank you. Things are almost back to normal for my wife and I and I really do appreciate the encouragement I got from your story, and your private reply to my questions....
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post #36 of 61 (permalink) Old 03-20-2012, 05:40 AM
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Re: When is enough, enough

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Amplexor was one of the biggest reasons I kept working at this.
Haven't been here in a while and don't know if you still are Amplexor but thank you. Things are almost back to normal for my wife and I and I really do appreciate the encouragement I got from your story, and your private reply to my questions....
This is true for me as well. During our separation, I was looking for successful reconciliation stories. This one in particular so inspired me with Amplexor's love for his wife, his patience, his faith. Hoping they now have a much stronger bond and more romance. Thank you for sharing with us your story.
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post #37 of 61 (permalink) Old 07-09-2012, 03:37 PM
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Re: When is enough, enough

This is an amazing love story and I thought that it might be a nice inspiration for those of us who are currently working on a positive R of our own. I hope you don't mind my bringing this thread back to the top. I know that you added a link to this to a current post.

Thank you for sharing you story and allowing others to see that with patience, love and a genuine desire to R that it is possible to rebuild a strong or even stronger marriage than before.

I hope that you and your wife are in an even better place, now, than when you last updated us.

Perhaps a new update would be beneficial! Thanks, again, for your honesty.
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post #38 of 61 (permalink) Old 07-31-2012, 02:20 PM Thread Starter
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Re: When is enough, enough

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I hope that you and your wife are in an even better place, now, than when you last updated us.

Perhaps a new update would be beneficial! Thanks, again, for your honesty.
I have been meaning to get to this for some time but have been busy. We are 5 years post D-Day and fortunately there are no major updates. My wife and I are still in a very good place. We don't talk about "that time" in our marriage. Only rarely does it come up at all. But when it does, we both agree it made us stronger.

We have continued to honor each others' needs and I am a firm believer in "The Five Love Languages". I make sure she gets the quality time and attention she needs and she attends to my need for physical touch. I rarely trigger anymore and generally that comes from TAM when I read a story that hits close to home. My trust in her has come a long way but I know it is forever altered. She made a mistake, I made plenty of them too. Deal with it Amp! We have set up boundaries regarding social media and former lovers. We've both honored those rules when contacted by someone we were emotionally tied to in the past. Thanks, but no thanks! <Ignore>

We are not a perfect couple and have our issues. We are just much more proactive in addressing them. We've learned that conflict is not a bad thing and is, in fact, a lot healthier than ignoring it as we did for so long. We have discussions not arguments and nary a harsh word has been hurled at each other for many years.

I have no regrets in my marriage to my wife. I couldn't have picked a better woman to hunker down in life with. She has stated as much to me in her in her affirmations of love. I still feel strongly that we survived something in our marriage that many would not have. The commitment, pain, tears and efforts we both put into the recovery process confirms the vows we took over 25 years ago. "For better or worse." We've seen the extremes on both sides of that one and respect each other even more for it. I consider myself to be very blessed in my marriage and family.

Amp

Confidence Love Patience Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.

"Some of the greatest lessons life has taught me came from my darkest days in it" -Amp
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post #39 of 61 (permalink) Old 08-07-2012, 03:49 PM
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Re: When is enough, enough

Amp, thanks for sharing all of this. My I propose a to you and your wife!

~~~ SW ~~~
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post #40 of 61 (permalink) Old 09-08-2012, 05:36 PM
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Re: When is enough, enough

Just read this and want to thank you for sharing this, it's very insiring. We are have a really hard time today. He is questioning himself still whether or not he made the right choice to stay. I pray he doesn't decide he can't handle the memories of what I did to him. It is his choice yes but I know I've learned and will never hurt hubby like that again. Love to see success stories, thank you.
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post #41 of 61 (permalink) Old 09-08-2012, 05:38 PM
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Re: When is enough, enough

wow this thread is from a long time ago, just looked at the date. Sorry you posted it in another thread so I went and found it
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post #42 of 61 (permalink) Old 09-08-2012, 06:57 PM
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Re: When is enough, enough

Perhaps it would be a good idea to ask Calvin to read this tonight. It does bring alot of us struggling alot of hope. So funny you mention the avioding conflict thing. That's how our marriage got bad, when you avoid it you land up resenting eachother more and more. Sorry I keep coming back here and every time I do I have more to say. Gonna shut up now I tend to talk to much lol
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post #43 of 61 (permalink) Old 05-04-2013, 04:47 AM
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Re: When is enough, enough

Just one thing really - thank you Amp x
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post #44 of 61 (permalink) Old 08-02-2013, 10:33 AM
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Re: When is enough, enough

Fantastic story! I have tremendous hope for my separation, but this really helps me confirm that I can do this with my wife.
Thank you Amp. You have seen and read the inspiration you have provided MANY on these boards. I hope you do not mind, but I would like to share your story with my wife. It might help her with her doubts as she works on herself.
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post #45 of 61 (permalink) Old 01-18-2014, 12:32 PM
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Re: When is enough, enough

I wonder if it had been a PA how things would have worked out?

The EA part of my h's affair hurt. But once I found out about the PA part I just felt numb and still do.
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