Re: Dealing with the silent treatment
I resorted to the silent treatment/sleeping in another bed in my marriage, it was rare, but was a component of our breakup I'm sure.
I grew up in a very abusive / physical home and I do not like to fight and don't seek them. I will discuss, I will listen, but I will not be screamed/yelled at or having someone feel they can work me over then go straight to bed.
It's not an excuse. I knew it was wrong but for me it was "reset" button for a night. In my situation I felt it was mirroring the behavior of my wife. It was rare, but she seemed to like to fight right as she went to bed, would do it, then go to bed. I'd think on things and a few times a year go to another bed. I generally sought to talk/and or listen the next day.
There is no excuse for my behavior.
I won't do it again in my life. But I also have to figure out if someone "pushes my buttons" (I don't believe anyone can make you mad, it's how you react but I'm not perfect).
I never could figure out how if I did it, it was abuse but if my wife did it, or came unglued or ranted / raved she was not at fault.
It's a habit that can be broken. Looking back, I wish we had done some marriage tuneups of some sort or had better communication. We did I think 99.5% of the time, but there were instances this happened. Again, I was at fault.
What I wanted, probably, was to feel like I was heard. This may sound juvenile but a simple, "I love you and let's talk this over" would go a long ways or would of for me. I should have done the reverse.
Last edited by LBHmidwest; 02-02-2014 at 01:55 AM.