Hey. This is my first time on this site, I'm 18 years old. You'll have to trust me when I say I'm mentally slightly more advanced than most others at my age. I needed a place to feel welcome to write about my relationship.
I dated an older woman for 2 and a half years. We met online, she lives in Tennessee and I live in California. I was 15 and she was 17. We're 18 and 20 now. We were very much in love. Early on in the relationship she revealed to me that she had a 2 year old daughter from an arranged marriage. I took a week to really think about the ins and outs of continuing the relationship, but I decided that I felt it was right. Things were great for 2 years, despite fighting and nagging. I realize that we both thrive on arguments and reconciliation. But the last few months of the relationship, I began to change. I felt very arrogant, and that I should always get what I wanted. We talked less, but we were still in love. One day, I became fed up with one particular fight and broke it off with her. We continued talking unofficially. But, even though I was the one who broke it off, I was still stressed. I talked to a female friend of mine who was there for me, and we began to talk also. Technically it wasn't cheating, but realistically I know I was cheating. The new woman told my ex about us. My ex dropped me like a rock, said she hated me and never wanted to speak to me again, send a check for all the money she's ever spent on me. I didn't want to deal with it, just live my life. About three months after, I really began to think. The new woman's lips weren't the same. Body, eyes, voice, heart, mind, dreams, and overall connection were all uncomfortable to me. I hastily called my ex wanting her back, begging.
After a while, she took me back. I felt horrible for hurting the other girl, but I do realize that the most important person in your life is you, next to your children of course. But still, you have to make yourself happy. Anyway, she took me back for one week. But after that, she told me that she had been talking to another guy. A guy friend of hers that was always there for her when I wasn't. Needless to say, I flipped out. She stopped talking to me, and I tried my hardest to give up and move on. A month later, I resolved to fight for her. She wasn't just a passing fancy. Also, I haven't mentioned, but I took in her daughter as my own. I love her very much. I want every fantasy future we ever came up with together, I wanted every fight and every second together. So I fought for her.
I was always a smart kid, I always thought things through. I upped it dramatically for my fight for her. I spent weeks putting my thoughts in order, weeks talking to friends and family, weeding out unrealistic scenarios and everything. My plan was to let her know I loved her for two months, then suddenly withdraw the love. It worked. This happened two days ago. I text messaged her telling her it was over, that I was tired of fighting for someone who wouldn't bat an eye at me anymore and was with someone else. She immediately texted back, very upset and crying. I blew it off as part of my act. The next day I apologized for being so blunt. We talked for a very long time, and everything I had hypothesized was true. She still loved me. But she loves him too. She told me she wants me to wait, she wants me to love her, but she doesn't have it in her to return to me.
My hypothesis is now this: She still loves me. She said she wants me to wait as long as it takes, 6 months to five years. She said she believes we are meant to be, and she doesn't want to lose my love. I believe she rebounded onto the guy, just as I did to the other girl. I truly believed I loved the other girl until I realized that I couldn't shake my feelings for my ex. I know that right now, she thinks she loves him. I don't doubt it, but I think that she's trying to make him into me. Trying to make their relationship into the relationship her and I had before. I'm sure that in 2-3 months, she will return to me just as I returned to her, with new realizations and resolve.
I have changed. I am much more matured, I am ready to start a family with her. I appreciate her, because I once had not, and I lost her because of it. I know her very well, I traversed her heart and mind many times. I know how she will act and think. I'm not trying to control everything lol, but I won't give up on her, and I'll try my best to orchestrate it right up to the point where I get her back.
I'm looking for constructive criticism. Do I sound like an idiot? Does it sound plausible? Does it sound spot on? Does it sound like fantasy? To be completely honest, I half assed this entire thing because I didn't want to overflow the text box. Many things have been left out, and many things are much simpler than they seem. To be honest a second time, I value other's opinions, but I don't let them affect me. I've had many people come and go saying "Give up, move on, she doesn't love you anymore." To these, I just continue on, unmoved. People who support me, I thank them and I push on.
I'm sorry if this was a lot to read. If you're at all interested, please PM me and I can explain it in more detail. Just be aware, I will remain unmoved even if you are against the idea that she will return to me
Thank you for your time!