03-06-2011, 05:04 PM
Join Date: Nov 2010
| | Re: Has anyone's spouse done this?
Originally Posted by the guy
Yes we've had some major ones but we settle down and regroup.
We do are best to prevent it from getting to this point knowing how unsettling it can be for both of us. You know how fragile it is so the both of us can get calm and work it out .
Back in the day we would fight she would cheat I would drink and the behavior was toxic. So these days we have seen how far south sh*t will go if we don't calm the f*ck down and think...both of us.
So point is we know were we have been and were things can go so there is no .....what if
We know we are both capable in screwing things up so we are more focused when we argue. Focus on communicating our point and not stressing on the emotional impact. With that said we see the R working...still argue but in a differant way.
So if there is a fight we know its best to settle it and stay away from those bad behaviors. it motivates us in resolving the issue b/c I don't like drinking and she doesnt like being used by some strange, just so we dont have to face the dissagreement that we have.
R will work out if both of you agree that sh*t happens and it needs to be worked out. Fighting is always there its how you dealt with it before the R and how you fight durying the R, that the difference in if the R is working.
Hope that helps ;-)
Thanks. We don't talk about the R. It's more of a wait and see kind of thing. I've apologised and explained why I said what I said and he listened but didn't respond. This morning we talked cordially about little things. But mostly we stayed away from each other.
I worry about him throwing in the towel if there's an argument. It's just too easy now since divorce was brought on the table. Like when we tried to think about dinner and I said I don't care what we're going to eat, I don't feel like anything special. He said some things never change.
He's always hated my indecisiveness.
I will stay out of his way as much as I can.