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Reconciliation This forum is for those focused on reconciliation and success stories from people who have been through separation and reconciled successfully.

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Old 03-31-2011, 05:13 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Made Big Decision

Hi,

After months of thinking while the wife has been away on holiday I was in a like 99% divorce situation I told her everything about our relationship no love, no compassion, no help with each other I wanted to go my own way and she would do being from a different culture. She pleaded with me to stay together we will start again and anew. I said okay I will give you another chance to be honest I don't think things will work out but I will try?

How much time should I give it 1 year 2?

Thanks.
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Old 03-31-2011, 05:20 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Made Big Decision

Maybe I'm wrong, but it doesn't sound like you are really wanting it to work. To set a time frame for things to be certain way, I think, is unreasonable and also a formula for failure. I don't know what your relationship issues are but I think if you are going to reconcile, you need to fully commit to it no matter what. I think you should do a lot of self introspection to recognize what you did to cause your marriage to be where it currently is. I know that no failed marriage is solely the responsibility of one partner. If she didn't do something you needed, maybe it was because you weren't meeting one of her needs. I'm not saying this was the case but it is an example of how things work. Read books. There are tons that are extremely helpful, i.e. His Needs, Her Needs and many more. Learn a lot about yourself. You may find that there is more that you can do. I wish you good luck.
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Old 03-31-2011, 11:51 PM   #3 (permalink)
anx
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Default Re: Made Big Decision

If you are considering making this work, MC is the place to figure that out.
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Old 04-02-2011, 09:01 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Made Big Decision

With that attitude it won't.
It takes both partners 100% to make or break a marriage.
I am sure not all the problems in the marriage were her fault.

MC, as well as individual counseling would be a great place to start.
Also, a positive attitude and willingness to work hard to make it work.
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