Re: One Sided "Reconciliation"- I am WW
I guess by posting here that things were working out, I jinxed myself.
We were getting along fine until Saturday night. We were being intimate and I got frustrated because he was too drunk to perform (it was becoming painful for me and the baby woke up so I needed to FEED her), so I said we should try again Sunday. He got angry and started throwing stuff around and acting childish. He was upset because my night with OM was a long, drunk night in which neither of us could perform, but I didn't stop OM. That tiny detail that differed from my husband's and my experience Saturday night set him off and triggered him. OM got to finish and he didn't, so that's apparently a reason to lash out.
Now he is angry with me again like the affair happened last weekend. Silent treatment, if we do speak, he's telling me I'm a ***** and he's trapped in this marriage, etc. Mind you, he's upset with me because I stopped having sex because it was painful AND my baby was crying, and his biggest concern is that he didn't get to finish. For me, that is just the final straw and I'm done trying to please him. I just had a c-section and the whole area is still healing, yet he's angry with me for stopping intercourse because it's too painful. Am I a prostitute? Am I not a human being? Did I lose all rights to my feelings when I cheated? I don't know.
I'm looking for a job and quietly getting my ducks in a row to leave. I will file for custody and then file for child support. He is too drunk to be around the kids every day. I won't subject them to belligerent tirades and conversations about how I "owe him sex". Ridiculous. I asked him if he would want his daughters married to a man that angrily demands sex, and he said "If they're raised by you, they'll put themselves in situations like this where sex is expected". I don't think so. Women don't "owe" men anything sexual. Ever.
He is also legitimately angry because sometimes I joke about giving him sexual favors if he brings me food from the bar he's always at. It's a JOKE- "I'll give you [sexual favor] for a cheeseburger!" Sometimes I will actually do it because I enjoy doing nice things for my husband, and sometimes I don't because I'm not a prostitute. Last week I didn't because he came home so drunk he passed out at the kitchen table while eating said cheeseburgers... and he stayed there several hours after I tried to wake him up to go to bed. Apparently he took me seriously and now I'm a manipulative liar because I owe him several sexual favors for cheeseburgers I've received over the past several months. And he's completely serious. He thinks I am some sort of manipulative mastermind and I frequently lied to him so I could get some cheeseburgers.
Side note: I was pregnant and hungry, and he spent/spends a lot of time in bars.