1) How long were you apart before reconciling?
2) Is the reconciliation a success or still working on it?
3) What triggered reconciliation?
1. How long were you apart before reconciling?
It will be a year in May since she left. She rebuffed all efforts at reconciliation during the first three months and that is when I finally stopped trying. I have since pulled the 180 move. Every two to three weeks she gets terribly lonely and messages me out of the blue. Sometimes I respond. Sometimes I don't. But her messages do not deal with getting back together, except for one, when she asked if I thought if we'd still be together had her brother not died. I said "yes." Her brother's death is what sent her into the emotional tailspin to begin with, and into the arms of another man, and then, woman.
2. Is the reconciliation a success or still working on it?
If it ever happens, I'll be the first to let you know. I am no longer working on it. And I was the only one working on it. Strangely enough, however, her headlong rush into divorce came to a screeching halt late last year and she hasn't picked it back up again. I'm not sure why. I don't ask. Our current status is "separated," although she will not post that status on any social media page and continues to wear her engagement diamond and wedding ring.
3. What triggered reconciliation?
Should this ever happen, and I strongly believe it won't, it will be the passage of time. The only thing I have going for me is I am her last living link to her mother, father and brother. I know what rose brings her to tears, for example, because it was her mother's favorite and her father planted that variety of rose at every house they ever lived in together during our marriage (three in total). I know her love of big band swing music comes from her grandmother, who played her the hits of Glenn Miller and others while she was growing up. She loves to dance to big band swing. Only I know why. I know the special meals that her mother would make for her. I know what her favorite fruit is. I know she has the greenest of green thumbs because I brought it out in her.
I don't know if this will be enough to ever trigger such a thing. I no longer hold out any hope. I no longer pine for her. She will always hold a special place in my heart, but she wanted her freedom and I gave it to her.