Day 1 - DECIDE
I am not a professional writer, pastor, or marriage councillor, you will see it with how I write this blog (or post depending on where you read this).
I am just a man, a friend, a son, a father, and more importantly, a husband going through marriage separation. Today is the 43rd day that my wife of almost 6 years (few months short of), finally decided to part ways for good. There was no third party involved, no abuse, no in-law problem. It was just "us" having differences that we failed to work out for the last 6 years. A killer of communication break down has plagued us, and I never saw this coming.
My journey alone these past weeks have been anything but nice. I've tried to have fun, I've tried to find myself, I've tried to meet new people, but it has always been in vain. I have always felt empty. But one thing is for certain, I have made peace with my friends and more importantly, with the Lord. My friends, and some new ones, have been with me all the way. Guiding me and comforting me in this probably, by far, the worst stage of my life. Best of all, this has brought me closer to family, both mine and hers and made me realize what kind of fool I have been to neglect her family all these years. I have not been a good son-in-law and brother-in-law to begin with, but I am making huge improvements on how I deal with my life now that I have been awakened from that bad part of my life.
Yesterday, fathers day 2011, I have decided to move back home to my in-laws, where my wife and daughter are staying. I have been praying long and hard to the Lord for a sign, a sign that I need to fight for this with all my heart, and a sign that this will be all worth the pain. My wife's sister sent me an SMS early morning, saying that my 5year old daughter wrote me a letter for fathers day. I cried for hours, thinking that I have been a fool taking all the time in the world wollowing over the pain, and thinking that things will change on its own.
It was wrong. I needed to decide, I needed to stand up and fight for my marriage. I needed to serve my wife, my daughter, and her family the way I have promised when we got married September 24, 2005. I am not expecting that my wife will welcome me with open arms, on the contrary she gave me that usual cold treatment via SMS when she found out I was staying.
I am expecting that this journey will be the most painful, most heart-breaking and insulting journey I will embark on. But I am ready, for I have DECIDED that my marriage is the most important thing in this world. No pain emotional pain can kill me, but loosing my wife forever would definitely do.
Yesterday's Fathers Day Church Homily (Catholic) hit my heart like a sword: We are not asked to understand, we are asked to Believe. God has a purpose for these things to happen, whether this will make us a better person separately, or will make our marriage the best that it has ever been, one thing is for certain. I do not need to understand why my wife is so cold, and so angry, and so happy that we have been separated. I am asked by the Lord to Believe that His ways, His plans, and His time is always right.
Please check-in again tomorrow as I write these series of blogs/post every weekday until this is finally over, your comments and feedback are more than welcome. I hope that with the help of the internet and this site, I am able to help other people going through the same trouble I am, and find inspiration in each other.
I am not a professional writer, pastor, or marriage councillor, you will see it with how I write this blog (or post depending on where you read this).
I am just a man, a friend, a son, a father, and more importantly, a husband going through marriage separation. Today is the 43rd day that my wife of almost 6 years (few months short of), finally decided to part ways for good. There was no third party involved, no abuse, no in-law problem. It was just "us" having differences that we failed to work out for the last 6 years. A killer of communication break down has plagued us, and I never saw this coming.
My journey alone these past weeks have been anything but nice. I've tried to have fun, I've tried to find myself, I've tried to meet new people, but it has always been in vain. I have always felt empty. But one thing is for certain, I have made peace with my friends and more importantly, with the Lord. My friends, and some new ones, have been with me all the way. Guiding me and comforting me in this probably, by far, the worst stage of my life. Best of all, this has brought me closer to family, both mine and hers and made me realize what kind of fool I have been to neglect her family all these years. I have not been a good son-in-law and brother-in-law to begin with, but I am making huge improvements on how I deal with my life now that I have been awakened from that bad part of my life.
Yesterday, fathers day 2011, I have decided to move back home to my in-laws, where my wife and daughter are staying. I have been praying long and hard to the Lord for a sign, a sign that I need to fight for this with all my heart, and a sign that this will be all worth the pain. My wife's sister sent me an SMS early morning, saying that my 5year old daughter wrote me a letter for fathers day. I cried for hours, thinking that I have been a fool taking all the time in the world wollowing over the pain, and thinking that things will change on its own.
It was wrong. I needed to decide, I needed to stand up and fight for my marriage. I needed to serve my wife, my daughter, and her family the way I have promised when we got married September 24, 2005. I am not expecting that my wife will welcome me with open arms, on the contrary she gave me that usual cold treatment via SMS when she found out I was staying.
I am expecting that this journey will be the most painful, most heart-breaking and insulting journey I will embark on. But I am ready, for I have DECIDED that my marriage is the most important thing in this world. No pain emotional pain can kill me, but loosing my wife forever would definitely do.
Yesterday's Fathers Day Church Homily (Catholic) hit my heart like a sword: We are not asked to understand, we are asked to Believe. God has a purpose for these things to happen, whether this will make us a better person separately, or will make our marriage the best that it has ever been, one thing is for certain. I do not need to understand why my wife is so cold, and so angry, and so happy that we have been separated. I am asked by the Lord to Believe that His ways, His plans, and His time is always right.
Please check-in again tomorrow as I write these series of blogs/post every weekday until this is finally over, your comments and feedback are more than welcome. I hope that with the help of the internet and this site, I am able to help other people going through the same trouble I am, and find inspiration in each other.