You think that this its still possible to sort our marraige RP?
Absolutely! You have not decided against restoring the marriage - and making it whole, healthy, and much better than it has ever been.
I have a question for you. Can you accept the fact that you cannot change your wife? The marriage can be better even if you still feel like she is controlling?
These are important questions.
If you can say, "Yes!"
Then I believe you have what it takes to have the most amazing marriage, with a positively changed woman.
What I am really getting at is deeper than respect for each other. Lasting love is built on honoring each other... as is.
If getting her respect right now is not possible, can you go one step further and honor who she is as a person anyways?
She might not deserve your respect... you might not deserve her respect yet too.
The only way to get around this and make it work is to move beyond respect and embrace honoring her.
When you take ownership of honoring her... that means that you become the better person, and make it your mission to come to a deeper understanding of who she is as a person.
People with a high sense of honor inside them do what is right not because of personal benefit, but because they must do what is right. If you think that saving your marriage and providing a stable home for your family is the right thing to do, then do just that. How you feel right now is not the priority. That is why I stress getting a good friend who will listen to you and help you through frustration. Positive change flows from not giving up and not being selfish. You would not be a door mat because being strong is not an act, it is a strong inner sense of doing what is right.
Mind games often backfire, and will turn your mate against you. Be stable during an unsure time and she will be foolish not to grab it in this day and age.
Options of that caliber are few for many women. You can be the kind of man that is a man. Not a boy who is a player.
Tell you what. I don't know you, but my marriage went through very tough years. I felt controlled and manipulated by my wife and she felt the same from me. Honoring her no matter what really has changed both of us. Only then could we really seek personal and marital counseling together - counseling that really worked.
We have a really loving relationship now, and I feel as though she does not try to control things in our marriage. I gave up on trying to manipulate my way into getting things my way. It is very counter to what we are brought up to do in our day and age, but it is at the very center of positive change.
That is the foundation of my entire blog and site. It worked for me and my friends in their marriages so much that I had to start writing about it.
If you ever want to personal message me, please do. I will try to check it whenever possible and listen to what you have to say. I might be able to help you if you want it.
Let me know. I am not trying to solicit business from you. I just see that if you do not have a real good friend who has saved his marriage, then I may just be the next best thing.
So there you have it.
Hoping for a breakthrough,