If you "win" someone back by doing the 180 the results are temporary at best, it's not a real solution.
I am not against the 180 plan. I think that it is prudent now that 36Separated knows that his wife is being manipulative and destroying the marriage for selfish reasons.
I know that it is a set of rules to follow in order to play reverse psychology on a mate who is spitefully treating someone. However, I do not advise on using a false facade of confidence and strength when in fact you are an emotional mess.
If the marriage gets back together, how can anyone with integrity not reveal the charade that was used to get the marriage back on course. The 180 is pragmatic, in that it has the ability to work, however, I would say that it is not wise to show your true feelings to a belligerent spouse bent on ruining everything for their own selfish reasons or to hold on to an affair.
If you do influence him or her. You can with integrity say that you did not show your true feelings because it was not safe to do so. That is prudent.
Detaching sometimes is necessary. I think it prudent to detach in a situation as this. However, I have been encouraging 36Separated to have understanding. Now he understands to some degree what is going on. Hey drew it out of her.
In his situation it seems wise to detach since he needs to detach from her selfishness and those who are manipulating her.
I encourage him to realize the true value of who he is as a person and the true value of who she is as a person. I encourage him to have strong character and be a better, honorable, and integrity filled man.
If for some reason I have misinterpreted Michelle Wiener Davis' list of behaviors for the 180 plan... than it is because I might be reading into what the behaviors really mean. However, I do not know how you can retain integrity while doing it - and how you can truthfully explain your actions to your spouse if it does make him or her come to his or her senses.
Without living with real character - how can a real relationship be established?
Perhaps it is best to do the 180 plan on a short term basis. You have to be able to look your reconciled partner in the eyes and tell them that you really had those inclinations for detachment - feelings that if faked would make your spouse resentful if the truth were known.