Re: Wow... that is all
My insight would be:
If facing your ex is still a fearful thing in light of your own children being severely neglected by her, then you might want to consider some therapy to grow a stronger spine.
Neglect is abuse, and your children are not only suffering physically, but mentally from it. Maybe you are too close to the issue to see it objectively, but I am sure you will at some point, and it may be too late then. Your children deserve someone who is willing to take on anything for their wellbeing.
She only has power over you if you allow it.
"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."
~ Abraham Maslow