Re: Is it possible to fix this?
In my honest opinion. Well, because of his substance abuse problem, and I am going to guess it stems from childhood,, around the age of adolescence. Reason why, around that age there are major changes mentally and children at that age develop coping skills to handle the stress.
If he has been continuing substance abuse since his teen years, there will be some permanent damage done because things like weed, alcohol, and other drugs affect the rapidly developing brain by screwing with the wiring.
As you can see, his battle with substance may be life long.
Until you go further into his past, and if this was him at a very early age, hard to tell.
And you can only invest so much of yourself before you become emotionally exhausted, or becoming too codependent and staying when it has become too detrimental to yourself.
They have to learn to stand on their own, because you being a crutch will make them too dependent on you for their own well-being.
You cannot neglect yourself over him. Often in these cases when one partner is battling depression, substance abuse, the other will tend to neglect themselves years on end.
Is it possible, maybe. It is reliant on both putting up the hard work, and the viability that both could hold their own end. If he cannot fix his issues, if you stay, then you may be playing the caretaker role more than one of a partner. Again, it is reliant on outcome.
This could possibility of a life long battle. It requires him changing his brain's circuitry, his way of thinking, coping, behaving. habits do not fully disappear, they get replaced with new ones and has the possibility to resurface at times.
You can only look at history to the present and judge. No one has foresight to give you any guarantee.
How about you? How are you doing?
I am such a tree hugger because it gives me wood!