08-31-2011, 03:01 PM
Join Date: Nov 2010
| | Re: my story
of all the things to spend money on, counseling is a good one. It will effect our life more greatly than any car, so the time and money is well spent. There is often free counseling or mentorship if of are part of a church, were part of the military, or are under certain economic numbers.
If you are religiously inclined, an experienced christian counselor is worth the time.
I agree with what you said about love. For men, love is often a commitment to your wife and a feeling second. We are driven towards her, but don't often have a specific reason. You will be able to come up with some, but that's not what drives me.
If that is not on option, you guys still might be fine. It will be harder with without help. Yes, you do need to talk about the past, but also its not healthy to totally dwell on that either. I think the best thing would be to read books together and talk about them. Also, don't push things too fast. It's draining and fights break out if it's too much.
You book suggestions would be
1) why marriages succeed or fail (there are quite you should take asap to see where you are at)
2) the seven principals for making a marriag work
3) if you are religiously inclined, I cannot suggest the book sacred marriage enough
I would love to give any more advise if you have specific questions. My story is in my profile and has stretched on for long enough that I have been through a lot of counseling and read a ton of books and stories on this sight.
You wife sounds like she has a lot of resentment built up, and cracking that is exhausting work.
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