Re: suggestions on how to reconcile
OP, reading this thread I get the sense that your wife is coming last in your priorities and this is what she is probably feeling.
Work seems to come first. I doubt you complain at work that you are tired. Work probably gets the best from you.
Second is your soon to be child. Your wife only matters because she is carrying him/her.
It does not matter what she may have done wrong or right, what matters is what you should do. If you care about your wife, act like it.
I think this boundaries talk is a waste of time. Just look at the damage you have done and fix it.
Je suis Charlie, Russian Metrojet, Beirut, Paris, Bamako.