how to win my wife's heart back? - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-11-2016, 01:08 PM
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Sorry was talking about the hardened wife article. I meant to grab it and didnt

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post #17 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-11-2016, 01:08 PM
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Re: how to win my wife's heart back?

Paging @DayOne
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post #18 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-11-2016, 01:09 PM Thread Starter
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Re: how to win my wife's heart back?

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Paging @DayOne
????
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post #19 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-11-2016, 01:16 PM
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Re: how to win my wife's heart back?

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????
He's a guy who's been there. For different reasons.
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post #20 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-11-2016, 01:18 PM Thread Starter
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Re: how to win my wife's heart back?

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He's a guy who's been there. For different reasons.
Did his story finished on a positive note?
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post #21 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-11-2016, 01:20 PM
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Re: how to win my wife's heart back?

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Did his story finished on a positive note?
Extremely.

But he has a rare level of integrity and introspection.
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post #22 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-11-2016, 01:25 PM Thread Starter
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Re: how to win my wife's heart back?

I hope he can help me!
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post #23 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-11-2016, 03:10 PM
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Re: how to win my wife's heart back?

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how to win my wife's heart back?
First things first, you can't 'win' her back. Let's make that clear. So I'd suggest you stop thinking that way.

I've had a look at your two threads. Yes, you're in a mess. You've both acted in very destructive and hurtful ways to each other. She's doing what she needs to do right now. Separating, to get space to clear her head. From what you've said (at least your side of what's happened) it seems like she still loves you. Or at least the idea of still loving you.

But, given all that has happened, even if there have been some changes for the better, it's not surprising she is confused. Undecided as to whether she wants to keep trying.

BUT, that's not your concern right now. Chasing her, trying to 'win' her back, will only push her away. She doesn't need you right now. She needs to figure herself out.

And YOU need to figure yourself out. THAT'S your goal. Don't focus on the relationship. Get to work on yourself.

You've mentioned that you have realised you have problems, your own problems. Work on those. Find out what's 'broken' with you. And work on making you better. Get into counselling (or continue it). Go to the gym. It's a great way of burning off anxiety, and getting in shape. and never EVER say to her anything like "look, i'm changing! See?" She'll see it for herself and decide if it's real.

Work on you. And let her work on her. If you get back together it will have to be as two different people. Not the ones who separated.

She may come back, she may not. But you have to accept the 'may not' part, no matter how it hurts. But if she comes back, it's because she chooses to, not because you changed just enough to 'win' her back.
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post #24 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-17-2016, 08:21 PM
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Re: how to win my wife's heart back?

I agree that you need to work on yourself. And one way you can do that is by reading about ways to handle your situation. If you want her back, start educating yourself about the right ways to do that. I recommend a book called 'How To Win Your Wife Back Before It's Too Late' by Gary Smalley. It deals with reconciling a marriage even with a separation. It will show you what to do and what NOT to do. I'm not saying it will fix things, but it's filled with good things to know.

You both should also go see a Christian counselor together and apart. If she really wants to 'figure things out' she will agree to go.

Finally, make sure you are seeking God and His kingdom. Your relationship with him is the most important. Pray that she is filled with the love of Jesus, with a heart of compassion and grace. She needs to feel His love in order to feel yours and give you hers. God can fix this. Take care brother.
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post #25 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-17-2016, 09:55 PM
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Re: how to win my wife's heart back?

I think you should help her pack.

That way she can't take all your stuff.

You don't want her to take all your records...wait CD's...wait...never mind.

The point is she can't take your favorite cereal bowl, kitchen knife, bath towel or even your favorite pillow.

So ya help your old lady pack her shyt...but let her pick her own place....cuz if her new place sucks she will blame you.

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post #26 of 26 (permalink) Old 01-17-2016, 11:11 PM
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Re: how to win my wife's heart back?

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I don't understand why you all think my wife is a mail order bride? I didn't pay for her to come here. I met her in her own country, we had a relationship there. She was a professionnal with a good job. She didn't need to come to Canada to be saved from poverty.

She told me yesterday that she still feels something for me but she needs time to heal what happened in the past. She told me she won't be seeing anybody and will remain faithfull. She asked me to wait for her to contact me first.
Your thoughts are misguided foolishness, aggravated by pipe dreams made of vain hope.
What you are doing is listening to a bunch of hooey designed to blind you to the truth. You're not seeing what she is DOING, just what she's saying.

Fact: she is separating from you.
Fact: she's leasing and you know leases are for a while.
Fact: she doesn't want to have sex with you
Fact: she's been wanting to leave for a long time.
Fact: you fill in some.

Fiction: she needs time to think
Fiction: she's not going to see other men
Fiction: she is still thinking she might come back

I hope you are able to let go and work toward a future without your wife, because that's the future you MUST accept in order to move forward. Maybe there's a chance I'm all wrong and your wife might give things another chance. If you don't move forward, there's zero chance of that happening. Where you are now--- she's leaving.
Most likely you're better off without her and can't see it yet.

I'm sorry but you need to hear this. Good luck
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