Should I Run as fast as I can?

dipeaches · 09-13-2011, 09:15 PM

I have been married for 29 years (with alot of issues) we have all the typical marraige gone wrong issues, sex, money, infidelity, alcohol. He has had affairs and I never have. We were 16 when we met so have been together for 37 years. We have been seperated for the first time 1 year now. We have a divorce pending that we plan to go through with. Here is the problem-I love him with all my heart, and he loves me with all his heart. We have never had very good communication skills. This is the root of most of our problems. Here is the part where I am very confused: We recently had a meeting, we experienced new communication that worked. In this meeting we discussed, that maybe we should go to counseling to see if what we still have can be rekindled. We both agree to go forward with the divorce (paperwork has already been filed and attnys paid just waiting for the Decree to be mailed to us). This attempt at reconciliation will run concurent. I have come a really long way in my self awareness and healing and am confused if this is normal reactions or do I run. Any ideas, I do plan on continuing with my self improvements for me. Maybe he will join me, for the first time in 34 years he sugested counseling and is willing to commit to it. Am I a hopeless sap????

tacoma · 09-14-2011, 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dipeaches

Am I a hopeless sap????

Not at all.

After that much time and still in love, if your trouble truly was communication and you both have made progress communicating.

I say give it a shot if there is nothing unforgivably hurtful in your past.

What prompted your divorce?

dipeaches · 09-17-2011, 10:33 AM

Well actually I was a sap! Alot transpired over this weekend. He has a girlfreind again. He still wanted to talk reconciliation but wasn't ready to end the relationship with her. He couldn't decide which side of the fence he wanted to be on. So I decided for him. I am no longer an option. Actions speak louder than words. I think it was a ploy to get more favorable conditions in the divorce.

mr.niceguy · 09-20-2011, 04:39 PM

You made the right choice then! If he does not want it to work with his whole heart then it would likely not work.

dipeaches · 09-20-2011, 04:50 PM

Lessons hard learned. I will be able to live the rest of my life knowing that I gave it everything I had. Life will be good to me.

michzz · 10-01-2011, 09:55 PM

You mention that you love him with all your heart and he lives you with all his heart.

Then tell us he cheats and has a girlfriend he won't give up.

He does NOT love you with all his heart.

Time to move on.
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