If you start off with an Affair confession, the BS will never see past it, to address the underlying problems. The mind movies and speculation are a killer to R. It's addressing a symptom of the relationship, not the problems in the relationship. I guess if your goal is to never try to R and you want a quick D, then follow Marduk's method and lead with a full confession with details. If R is your intent, follow my recommended path. Do you want to save your marriage or not?
If you're having an affair, it's not your initial decision to reconcile or not.
Let me repeat this: If you're the one having an affair, it's not your initial decision to reconcile or not.
It's the betrayed spouse's initial decision. Why? Because at the end of the day, the betraying spouse deceived the betrayed spouse with the express result to take away their ability to make a full and complete decision about their future.
Then the affair partner gets to decide if they want to reconcile.
Because it's fraud, pure and simple.
The game you're playing is simply this: I get to commit marital fraud by pretending to have fidelity when I don't, and then take away your ability to make decisions about their own future so I can simultaneously reap the rewards of being married and being single, while taking that abilility away from you, and then not deal with the consequence of that because you might leave me.
In other words, the person lies to get what they want while still reaping the rewards of pretending they didn't. And your position is to maintain that.
Your stance has zero ethical grounding.
I seriously question your thinking and hope that you reconsider it.