Re: What is going on?
Let me help you decode her actions. She is telling you very clearly what she wants from you but you are not interpreting her indirect communication accurately.
You are not plan B, she has no future plans with you in mind. She enjoys your company as one would a valued friend but not a love interest. Your description of her behavior is consistent with treating you like a comfortable gf that she uses to vent, chat, relieve boredom and to share entertainment. On her part, there seems to be zero sexual tension, romantic love or desire for reconciliation now or in the future.
If there was a strong sexual attraction, she would have made the moves on you way before now. She does not see you in that way. You are her FWB of a nonsexual nature. She is no doubt sexually active and she told you as much. The BC conversation decoded.
Don't keep up this friendship because it will only cause you pain and delay the bright future that is ahead of you. Make a surgical cut now. Go through the pain once and for all and start building your new life. No rescues, dinners, meet-ups, NC except as it concerns your children. You don't need to hear about her life anymore, she is not your worry and you are not a convenient shoulder for her.
I can guarantee you that the online test you took was wrong. She is no better at relationships than you, that's why you are D. You know your contribution to the failure of the marriage and you are working hard to be a better partner. She thinks it was all you. She will find out how wrong she is, eventually.
If you make the cut from you ex, you will find that you can focus better on dating and have pleasant experiences. In fact, dating will help you to rebuild your self confidence and restore your faith in the future.
You are recently D and healing and not looking to replace your ex with a new wife or LT commitment. You just need to make it clear to the women you meet. If you are honest and let your date decide if she wants to continue to see you on that basis then it's all good.
Plan on dating many different women so that you sharpen your picker and decide what kind of partner works for you. Don't get serious with the first woman who is nice to you, there are lots of nice women. You want nice and right for you and that will take time to find after you have healed completely.
My magic wand would remove shame from sexuality for all! Anon Pink
Last edited by Catherine602; 06-25-2016 at 10:57 PM.