Looking back, there were signs, things I said and got a nasty look. I would criticize his driving or make a joke about his bad teeth. None of it seemed at the time to be a big deal. Then, I was so unfocused right after this happened that I asked him if we had ever had a conversation that he was unhappy. It might seem like a strange question, but I wasn't remembering ever having talked about it. He admitted he never said anything.
The really telling thing happened at therapy. We did an exercise where we mentally put on a blank paper the things that were most important to us in a relationship, then we were to decide who got to keep the paper. The first thing I did was ask him what his most important things were and he would not tell me. The MC picked up on that right away. I asked him again a few days later and he said he didn't want to tell me because he didn't want to hurt me because he didn't think they were things I could change. So while I have wanted to know what he values, he will not tell me.
He will not tell me.
I think he has tried to tell you over the years and it has either fallen on deaf ears or you belittled or minimized it or even shamed him so now he has shut down and does not trust you. men are supposed to suck it up and keep on keeping on. but thats really impossible eventually your my give a $hit fails to kick in.
reflect back and try to remember what he might have tried to tell you and you will have your answers.
some things that I can think of from my marriage
1) sex only on her terms
(when sex does happen its about me pleasing her not much effort on her part to reciprocate)
3) not listening to common sense. we can't or shouldn't buy this or that. and then she buys it and has some big a$$ story why
4) not respecting me or my opinion or worse taking credit for my ideas.
5)not getting a word in wedge wise.all conversations revolve around her and how important she is. and how much work she does. bla bla bla while anything I do is greatly minimized
6) doesn't keep her word. for me if you promise something you better come through. and empty promise is very damaging. even if its a small promise
7) eye rolling, sighing and negative/dismissive body language
8)failure to say your sorry without being prompted. when you f-up admit it and with remorse
9) supportive of my dreams and inspirations.
not sayin these are his problems with you but wouldn't be surprised if I nailed a few.
if you want to keep him self reflection is your best bet. and he still might decide that hes had enough.