What I hate about my marriage - Talk About Marriage
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  • 3 Post By maritalloneliness
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 05-28-2016, 09:41 AM Thread Starter
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What I hate about my marriage

I hate that I love you so much that I'm this needy, spineless human being.
I hate that I feel I'm not enough.
I hate that you threw us away for someone else and then asked for forgiveness.
I hate that I have to protect your image to your sons because I don't want them to know.
I hate that I still crave your touch.
I hate that my trust was used against me.
I hate that trusting is not easy anymore.
I hate being resentful.
I hate hating and loving you at the same time.
I hate that for me time hasn't lessen the pain of your infidelity.
I hate that I have to find a new way to love you knowing you could hurt me so irrevocably.
I hate that I have to hold back how I express my feelings for you knowing that when you were messing with her my feelings for you was a nuisance.
I hate that I've become so cynical.
I hate that I've never known who you are.


[B]FEAR=False Expectation About Reality -I will not live out of fear and any challenges I may face in my life is just an opportunity to learn about the person I'm choosing to become.
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 05-29-2016, 02:46 AM
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Re: What I hate about my marriage

Why do you stay?
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 05-29-2016, 07:10 AM
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Re: What I hate about my marriage

You choose to stay with someone who cheated, this explains all of your feelings.
You can choose to be free of these feelings.


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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 05-29-2016, 11:05 AM Thread Starter
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Re: What I hate about my marriage

It's really weird to say that I'm afraid. Even though it's painful but it's familiar. I see so many women who are alone as they are getting older that it's easier to stay and deal than to end things. I'm in my late forties with two kids and I need to endure at least until my youngest who is only 10 is old enough. I don't want to disappoint them. I need to learn not to care. How I wish I could turn off my feelings for him and let go of this fantasy of what my marriage could be. I know what most people are thinking that it's already over so why hold on. I m not there yet. So pathetic, I know.

[B]FEAR=False Expectation About Reality -I will not live out of fear and any challenges I may face in my life is just an opportunity to learn about the person I'm choosing to become.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 05-29-2016, 11:22 AM
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Re: What I hate about my marriage

Not pathetic. Just human.

It's always hard to give up on a dream. Just don't stay too long and waste time and energy on a marriage that is toxic. You will not be doing your kids any favors if you stay married to a man that is just bad for you. You will just be teaching them how to settle and live in a dysfunctional environment.

Good luck and I hope you find the courage soon to make changes for yourself.
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