SUZIWORD

So, how do you know when you have made a mistake and how long to you wait before you change it? Sadly only after 8 weeks I do realize that I have made a mistake. I think my H is very abusive (emotionally and verbally) but he says he is not. That he only has my best interest at heart. I find it very hard to believe with some of the things that he has told me this past weekend.

I am at a crossroads now. Which road do I take? What are the right choices? How do you know?

What do you do when everything in you screams run, but then there is a part that says wait your not making the right choice.

I so wished I could go back in time when the only decision I had to make was choosing which crayon to color with! This is so not fun.

DanF

It's your gut that's telling you to run and your head that's telling you to work it out.
Trust your gut.

SUZIWORD

So, do you think your gut is right? I guess the one thing I am having difficulties with really, is that when it comes up for conversation, he is very quick to cuss my family out calling them every single name in the book, how bad they are, how they are all hypocrites, liars, my sons are weak, my youngest son is useless, etc. Regardless of the fact whether that is true or not I just don't feel you do that to someone's family. You know its like I know what they are and I can say it but you can't! I would never say those things about his children ever or his parents ever! There is a fine line there! So, how can you profess all this undying love for me while saying things about people that I love and that have been here for me.

His thing is cut them out...show them! How, how can I cut my kids out? When it has been me and them for the last 25 years. I can't and I won't. What kind of mother would I be?!? No, that is not me and he knows it. Cut my mother out completely really? No, I won't allow her anymore to control me (if she really ever did), but cut her out? No she may only have another 10 years left heck for that matter I could only I have another 10 years left and do you think I want to spend it fighting!!!!

He is so quick to get even to settle the score! Why? I am not like that. Maybe I am naive maybe I am stupid maybe I am all the things he said, but you don't hurt the people you love not intentionally. Not saying that I have not cast my own set of stones. I have and I have done things too, but

Oh I just don't know anymore I feel totally crazy! Totally totally crazy. Stay, go, go, stay... move, not move, family, him, boys, grandbaby! Love is not suppose to be this complicated!

DanF

He wants to isolate you because it's easier to control and abuse you with no interference.

RUN, girl!

scione

Easy, do what he said but to him. Cut him out.

SUZIWORD

Its funny I emailed him a note about things that I think we need to discuss, etc., and last night when went out to dinner and I asked him did you read my email he was like yes. The only thing he said was did you send that same message to your family? I was like no they aren't the ones cussing and yelling at me and he was like well until you do it makes no difference in my book. So, silence! Went to dinner no hand holding, etc., so I said oh is this a good bye dinner and he was like yes...teasing I guess. Got home, nothing. Sleep......

How do you not discuss the eliphant in the room when you know its there?!? I am like get it out in the open and get it over with! I guess I have no patience and I do believe things magically get better if they are ignored!

I feel like my feelings and thoughts don't count its only his. Now decision time on me again! I am tired of moving, tired of spending money to rent a new place, pay for movers, I am going broke on that alone!

UGH!

SUZIWORD

Re-read post....that should say I don't think things magically disappear if ignored!

YupItsMe

Nailed it. He's a controlling POS. Bail and FAST