Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-09-2016, 05:43 PM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

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So Kristin , thanks for everything you have said ...but what do i do then , do i tell her i dont want to be her friend ???
Yes I want my Ex wife back ...so much , i do get that but im not sure , i thought if i can be firends then its a foot in the door as opposed to go No contact !!
Im so confused !!

I don't know the entire back story of your relationship. I've been giving you general advice I'd give any of my guy friends. I'll read your back posts to see if I am at all off base on what I am telling you to do.

I know that you think being her friend is a foot in the door, but the "friend zone" applies to Ex's too. My Ex is there right now. He is doing what you are doing hoping I will take him back. I am enjoying my life as a single person. I don't have to clean up after him, listen to him snore (though my dog does that), we go out for dinner when I feel like it, text and talk on the phone and he does more around the house now than he did when he lived here. If he stopped texting me and asking me if he could take me out to dinner, I'd start to wonder what he was doing...But that hasn't happened yet.

Have you told your wife that you want her back?

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post #17 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-09-2016, 05:53 PM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

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Also just wanted to add : we Separated a week before her birthday - 1st week in June ,I bought her a lovely necklace from tiffany & co, which she liked but I didn't go out with her on her actual birthday , she went with her kids and Ex Husband (I know that sounds weird , but she has this unique platonic thing with her ex , for the kids sake , however her kids are pretty much grown up now 18 and 15...I know pretty strange) She lives in her house , I was staying at my parents , I ended up getting a flat nearer to where i work and where she lives.
Like I said in my previous posts , we already had a vacation booked in July , which we went on , and had a fantastic time , lots of loving and sex ...however since coming back from holiday , the sex stopped , although she asked me to "come over to hers when ever i wanted to" , we would cuddle up in bed , and hold hands when going out to restaurants , dog walks , but the last week and a half she has just said it's all over , it was like she was giving me mixed messages , she finally told me it's not working and wants a formal separation her reasons being that she would never be able to trust me again and that it is also that she "cannot give me what I want" , ie: a loving , sexual relationship ....I'm so confused !!!
@Dusty72 I just started reading your back threads and WTF??? Do you not see a trend here?

You shouldn't be looking for advice on how to get this woman back. You need to move on from her and fix your picker.
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post #18 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-09-2016, 05:54 PM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

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Thanks Kristin and Yellerstang , I pretty much thought she was keeping me as a plan B and you are both right , i will not contact her , how about this for a text to her:

"Hi babe ,you know how i feel about you , but i can't be doing this false friendship BS , If you want to get things back on in a romantic level , then it will be lovely to hear from you , you have my number , call me ....if not please do not contact me ever again as i need to move on in my life"

something like that , what do you think , good idea?
No contact means no contact. Just ignore her for now, think about after 6 months or so.

Edit:
I wrote this before seeing the post above. Find someone else. She's a nut job.
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post #19 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-09-2016, 06:03 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

Yes , it's a crock of Sh@t I know ...but i do still love her , why the hell is she contacting me again ....that's what i dont get ???
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post #20 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-09-2016, 06:05 PM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

She's using you as an emotional tampon while she screws her new man. And, of course, you're allowing it. Welcome to the friend zone. Maybe she'll set you up with one of her gay friends, if you're lucky.
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post #21 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-09-2016, 06:05 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

Yes I have told her Kristin that i want her back....she said , lets be friends first and see where it goes from there?!?!!??
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post #22 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-09-2016, 06:07 PM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

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Yes , it's a crock of Sh@t I know ...but i do still love her , why the hell is she contacting me again ....that's what i dont get ???

I have told you why, she wants to keep you on the hook. What is so confounding about that? It is always nice to have options...Which must be what the girl you are dating right now is. That is a really sh!tty thing to do to another person, does your GF know what you are doing?
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post #23 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-09-2016, 06:07 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

Yep working on me , I don't wanna be in the friendzone ...sounds like you have been reading/watching corey wayne ....lol
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post #24 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-09-2016, 06:09 PM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

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Yes I have told her Kristin that i want her back....she said , lets be friends first and see where it goes from there?!?!!??

She is playing games with you, sorry. This woman doesn't love you and your relationship is not healthy at all. I'm convinced her EA was a PA now that I am reading your back threads.
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post #25 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-09-2016, 06:09 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

No kristin , Im in a rebound ...i know it is ****ty to do that , but she knows i harbour feelings for my ex ...but it still is not a good thing to do...i understand that

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post #26 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-09-2016, 06:10 PM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

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sounds like you have been reading/watching corey wayne ....lol
Never heard of her.
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post #27 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-09-2016, 06:11 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

Her EA is not the PA , completely diiferent guy , Actualy the EA , which i thought was probably just a good friend...or am i Bs'ing myself
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post #28 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-09-2016, 06:14 PM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

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No kristin , Im in a rebound ...i know it is ****ty to do that , but she knows i harbour feelings for my ex ...but it still is not a good thing to do...i understand that

If you are being honest with the other woman then it is her responsibility.

I think you need space from your Ex., this situation is toxic. She has one Ex that she managed the "just friends" relationship with, she might just want to be friends with you. In the meantime your life is on hold waiting for her to throw you a bone. If you get the "prize" of your Ex back...You still have the same screwed up relationship dynamic that ended in divorce. What will be different this time?
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post #29 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-09-2016, 06:15 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

corey wayne is an american relationship coach....google him , says it like it is ...pretty much what you told me
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post #30 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-09-2016, 06:16 PM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

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Her EA is not the PA , completely diiferent guy , Actualy the EA , which i thought was probably just a good friend...or am i Bs'ing myself

Oh lord, a PA and an EA (which is almost always a PA in the end)...Let her go! Why even be "friends" ? She seems pretty awful TBH.
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