Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-09-2016, 06:17 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

Very True Kristin , I have thought long and hard about that ....just have my love goggles on for this woman i have known for 5 years...but i cant get her out of my system, been on lots of dates since the break up , but nothing compares to her ....crazy i know

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post #32 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-09-2016, 06:21 PM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

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Very True Kristin , I have thought long and hard about that ....just have my love goggles on for this woman i have known for 5 years...but i cant get her out of my system, been on lots of dates since the break up , but nothing compares to her ....crazy i know

She sounds toxic! I feel irresponsible for even giving you the advice I have, but if you want her back that is your only shot. In the meantime I hope you take the love goggles off and see her for what she is.
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post #33 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-09-2016, 06:33 PM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

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"Hi babe ,you know how i feel about you , but i can't be doing this false friendship BS , If you want to get things back on in a romantic level , then it will be lovely to hear from you , you have my number , call me ....if not please do not contact me ever again as i need to move on in my life"
Translation on what she will think: I'm desperate and will do anything to get you back on your terms.

She dumped you and will continue to feed you breadcrumbs as long as you gobble them up.
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post #34 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-09-2016, 06:39 PM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

Read up. You have a lot to learn. Women do not respect and are not attracted to weakness. Never be someone's doormat. You are coming across as very needy.

http://r.search.yahoo.com/_ylt=AwrBT...tlCBDIx7FLgDc-
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post #35 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-10-2016, 01:11 AM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

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Read up. You have a lot to learn. Women do not respect and are not attracted to weakness. Never be someone's doormat. You are coming across as very needy.

http://r.search.yahoo.com/_ylt=AwrBT...tlCBDIx7FLgDc-
also Married mans sex life primer. Great way to understand things
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post #36 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-10-2016, 01:43 AM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

You're a nice guy. What exactly are confused about?

You guys have history because you were married. So far all she's done is text/call you. YOU asked her out for dinner with presumption of something else.

She's been pretty clear, she misses the marriage but she has trust issues, again where's the confusion? She's with someone else , again she's never lead you on to think she wants a relationship with you. Contact does not equal I want to get back together.

Again only going by what you wrote. Seen a lot of replies that maybe jumping the gun but the agreed thing is if you keep jumping to whatever she does, and the what you're currently doing, you know she's got someone else and yet you so obviously want her back, how do you think that looks against other guy who has no baggage and she can just have fun with.

Work on yourself, stop going to dinner and hanging on her every word. No contact is probably best, if she wants you back then let her speak up.
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post #37 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-10-2016, 02:11 AM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

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Her EA is not the PA , completely diiferent guy , Actualy the EA , which i thought was probably just a good friend...or am i Bs'ing myself
An EA and a PA?

Move on Dusty, FFS.
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post #38 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-10-2016, 02:49 AM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

Just because you love someone doesn't mean they are good for you.
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post #39 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-10-2016, 06:48 AM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

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Thanks Kristin and Yellerstang , I pretty much thought she was keeping me as a plan B and you are both right , i will not contact her , how about this for a text to her:

"Hi babe ,you know how i feel about you , but i can't be doing this false friendship BS , If you want to get things back on in a romantic level , then it will be lovely to hear from you , you have my number , call me ....if not please do not contact me ever again as i need to move on in my life"


something like that , what do you think , good idea?
Please don't give her this material to work with. You will hear it back in so many different negative ways that you just can't possibly imagine.
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post #40 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-10-2016, 08:16 AM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

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Very True Kristin , I have thought long and hard about that ....just have my love goggles on for this woman i have known for 5 years...but i cant get her out of my system, been on lots of dates since the break up , but nothing compares to her ....crazy i know
It's not crazy....I think you are co-dependent. This woman put you through the pain of divorce, is with someone else, and you still want to be with her? I would take a long, hard look at yourself and find out what is making you co-dependent. Co-dependency is not healthy. Learn how to get your own needs met instead of chasing an unhealthy partner to get them met.

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post #41 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-10-2016, 08:18 AM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

You had a beautiful woman on the outside. She isn't in the inside, or she'd keep dating her boyfriend and have no contact with you so you could move on with your life.
You never said why you divorced. She has "trust issues"?????
What does that really mean?

Look dusty, she has hurt you beyond recognition by divorcing you. How long are you going to keep this **** up? Forever???? Let her freaking go!!!!!!! Please, accept she's gone and move on. If she really wants you back, I assure you this woman will find a way to worm her way back in your life. You moving on will be the best bait there is for attracting her--- guaranteed. You chasing her is a guaranteed fail. And it will eat your guys out.
Have fun being single. Date, fallin in love again. It will happen. But NOT until you accept your marriage is OVER.
Acceptance is everything.
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post #42 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-10-2016, 04:07 PM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

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Thanks Kristin and Yellerstang , I pretty much thought she was keeping me as a plan B and you are both right , i will not contact her , how about this for a text to her:

"I'm sorry, but I'm not doing this false friendship BS. I'm moving on in my life"

something like that , what do you think , good idea?
There, I've edited it for you. Do not use "Babe" or tell her you are available when she wants to be. You will never ever get the outcome you want taking that route. There is nothing wrong with expressing that friendship would be too painful.

You really need to look at yourself and find out why you are tolerating this from someone that has divorced you.
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post #43 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-12-2016, 11:26 AM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

Let me be blunt, she wants to keep you around so "IF" the new bf can't get it up the THIRD time, and she's still wanting more, she can give you a call.

You probably treated her too nice & had her on a pedestal.

Book a nice vacation with the new GF and let the past go.
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post #44 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-12-2016, 04:00 PM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

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She wants to keep you on the hook as an option. The less available you are to her the more attractive you will be. If you don't believe me try it. Cut contact with her, don't reply to texts (unless it is an actual emergency) don't call her and stop being her "friend", start working on yourself.
So much this.

I'd cut contact. You divorced for a reason, and she sounds like she is doing exactly this, keeping her new bf on the back burner, and testing things with you because you're familiar to her. She has nothing to lose with you, she knows you, and knows how to get you interested again. I'd move on. Enjoy life on your own, and remember why you divorced. And she's also playing her new bf, which isn't very nice, so to me...I wouldn't turn back.
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post #45 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-12-2016, 04:03 PM
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Re: Divorced for 6 weeks Ex Wife initiating contact although she has a new boyfriend

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Originally Posted by NextTimeAround View Post
Please don't give her this material to work with. You will hear it back in so many different negative ways that you just can't possibly imagine.
This.

Just don't answer her. You don't owe her anything, that's the beauty of breaking up with someone. You don't need to be mean, but I'd work hard at detaching from this toxic person. She is toxic, from what you post here. Look up narcissistic personality disorder, she sounds like that could be what you're dealing with.
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