Idk what's going on. - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-11-2016, 12:05 AM Thread Starter
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Idk what's going on.

So long story short, my ex and I have been divorced since March. She had a boyfriend that cheated on her. I've always been there for her even still. She was very mean to me while they were together. Don't get me wrong I've dated and I've had my fair share of jerk moments a lot more than her. She's finding it hard not to still talk to him but blocked him this week on everything. It's coming up on a year since she left. For the past 3 weeks we have been hanging out a lot and I mean her staying the night and all that. She told one of her friends that she wants things to happen slow. Then one night we were hanging out and she went through my phone.... Well all she saw was pics of me her and our girls. She told her friend it was at that point she realized I was the only guy that would love her the way I do and I truly do miss her. Most guys would only keep naked or sexy pics. She told her through all the crap she has given me I kept everything we sent each other, it made her cry, because she never thought we would be where we are today. We went on a date this past Monday and had a blast. We are supposed to spend the weekend out of town with me her and the kids. She invited me. I guess I'm looking for advice on how to keep this going and how to tell if this is her wanting me back but being unsure if it. I mean she has started talking and txting me a lot and every time I offer to hang out she comes.

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post #2 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-11-2016, 01:07 PM
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Re: Idk what's going on.

How do you keep it going? Don't. Cheaters very rarely change and you and your kids will be the collateral damage of her fickleness.
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post #3 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-11-2016, 01:11 PM
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Re: Idk what's going on.

Krazy guy indeed.
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post #4 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-11-2016, 01:12 PM
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Re: Idk what's going on.

Taking it slow is good. Be honest and open with her.

Did her friend tell you she said all that, or did she?

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #5 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-11-2016, 01:15 PM
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Re: Idk what's going on.

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Originally Posted by Krazyguy View Post
I guess I'm looking for advice on how to keep this going and how to tell if this is her wanting me back but being unsure if it. I mean she has started talking and txting me a lot and every time I offer to hang out she comes.
Why did you guys divorce?

Without knowing your backstory all I can say is you probably shouldn't get back together with her. It doesn't matter if she sends signals that she wants to or not. You guys divorced already.

She sounds codependent. She needs someone in her life, you first, then this boyfriend, now back to you. It's only a matter of time till she finds another. (This is me jumping to conclusions based on limited information, but, it's what I see from the limited information provided).
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post #6 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-11-2016, 01:18 PM
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Re: Idk what's going on.

Sounds like you think she's got a gold vagina and you won't find a better one. Do you have confidence issues?
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post #7 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-11-2016, 02:48 PM Thread Starter
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Sounds like you think she's got a gold vagina and you won't find a better one. Do you have confidence issues?
Confidence issues no. I gained 40 lbs a muscle so lack of having other girls around is not the issue.
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post #8 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-11-2016, 02:49 PM Thread Starter
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How do you keep it going? Don't. Cheaters very rarely change and you and your kids will be the collateral damage of her fickleness.
There was no cheating. She found this guy well after we decided to divorce. Well it was her decision.
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post #9 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-11-2016, 02:50 PM Thread Starter
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Taking it slow is good. Be honest and open with her.

Did her friend tell you she said all that, or did she?
Her friend sent me screen shots of there convo. Then she found out and wasn't mad at all. We even talked about it. She has been staying over a lot.
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post #10 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-11-2016, 02:52 PM Thread Starter
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I guess I'm looking for advice on how to keep this going and how to tell if this is her wanting me back but being unsure if it. I mean she has started talking and txting me a lot and every time I offer to hang out she comes.
Why did you guys divorce?

Without knowing your backstory all I can say is you probably shouldn't get back together with her. It doesn't matter if she sends signals that she wants to or not. You guys divorced already.

She sounds codependent. She needs someone in her life, you first, then this boyfriend, now back to you. It's only a matter of time till she finds another. (This is me jumping to conclusions based on limited information, but, it's what I see from the limited information provided).
We divorced because I put my wants and needs also my job. Before her and the girls. I was a straight up jerk all the time. Of course we are both at fault she wasn't perfect either. We discussed all this recently. I would chose to go to work over doing family activities together, and when I was home I wanted to be left alone. All things I learned were wrong now and she sees a change in me.

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post #11 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-11-2016, 02:56 PM
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Re: Idk what's going on.

I think you're trusting her way too much. Once she has an issue with you on something small, everything you're seeing now will go away. This won't last long, next week sometime she'll tell you to hit the street.

"I've paid double for every transgression I've ever made and that motel and that boat are little to ask for"
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post #12 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-11-2016, 03:01 PM
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Re: Idk what's going on.

Do some reading about codependency.
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post #13 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-11-2016, 03:11 PM Thread Starter
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I think you're trusting her way too much. Once she has an issue with you on something small, everything you're seeing now will go away. This won't last long, next week sometime she'll tell you to hit the street.
Yes I do have my fear of this. We have had little flings through out but this one has lasted along time. Longer than normal I guess.
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post #14 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-11-2016, 03:13 PM Thread Starter
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Do some reading about codependency.
Yes I know she has that issue. She has been taken care of her whole life. She hasn't been out on her own yet. Still lives with her mom. Her ex though was broke and she had to pay for everything. So she did have a guy she had to take care of. Smh lol
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post #15 of 81 (permalink) Old 08-11-2016, 03:16 PM
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Re: Idk what's going on.

Well I'd wait a good ten years before I remarried her.
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