I liked this response, felt compelled to CROP it...not DROP it.
Science is wonderful, as is Philosophy.
Few can grasp it. Few can see beyond a few hundred feet, let alone over the horizon to the Elysian Fields.
It is not simple if few can DO this.
Woulda, shouda, couda comes to mind.
People are hopelessly programmed, hopelessly living their Engrams.
Hitting Control, Alt, Delete would be nice....but Clear is not attainable for the Masses or the Naïve Massaged.
Our education system. Values are Val-You's, in the first person.
Selfish is normal....the rest is wishful thinking...woulda, shoulda, couda... innate failings? No, this is the Norm under the Bell Curve, for Human Beans....no typo.
The focus on IQ is falling by the wayside.
Consider the case of bullying. We have effects as bad as suicide from those who receive verbal bullying. The response? Schools implement report and punish programs. The result? no decrease in bullying.
If (when) we take the scientifically sound approach, like the RULER program, we have dramatic improvements in bullying, but also school performance, general well-being and healthier social interactions.
The problem? The current crop of teachers were raised and taught when only IQ mattered and you were either a good kid or bad kid. How can an emotionally UNintelligent teacher provide lessons in emotional intelligence?
Our society sides with those that lash out after voicing their victimhood, never to consider that those "victims" look awfully like bullies, objectively.
The answer? We all have to learn how to use our emotions to make informed, and objectively sound decisions. We need emotion to employ our IQ to its fullest. For this ex-husband in question, he needs to retrain his brain, so that he understands the impact his actions has on those around him, namely his partner. Once he gets to that point, he can act on that understanding and properly fulfill the role that he auditioned for - twice now.