Re: Annnnd I'm back
You asked for advice. You got it, and it was obvious what you are going to do no matter what advice you got.
The saying goes you can predict future behavior by past results. Her track record is dismal and someone very astutely gave you a list of why starting with her job in a bar interacting with men constantly with alcohol involved.
Now you know she has had sex with other men while you were separated, and you are still going to try to reconcile while separated. BAD IDEA!! You two are either all in or all out. She owns the house so get out of your mum's and back into the home where at least you have a better chance of watching her everyday actions, not just when you are on dates.
You also have apparently rejected the advice to set up some kind of accountability system for her to attempt to make you feel safe. You are attempting to reconcile with a serial cheater, with no safety net in place other than TRUSTING her. How did that work out before.????
None of us know her, but we do know that many many times this sudden remorse kicks in when the grass is not greener on the other side. You do not want to be Plan B.
I am NOT telling you reconciliation is not possible. People have reconciled from much worse than you have encountered and people divorce over a one night stand.
But you appear to be determined to go into this blindly, with no snooping, no accountability , and you are playing Russian roulette.
That's your call. You will bear the consequences.
My suggestion is to make her prove how much she wants you back
(1) tell her you want to move back in
(2) see if she voluntarily does things to make herself a safe partner
(3) see how you feel wondering where she is while you are at home
And lastly, you might consider telling her BEFORE all of this plays itself out that you want a polygraph test to make sure there are not more men that you do not know about. She had sex with two while separated. My guess is she may still have active accounts on dating sites, or other men still have her contact information, some of which you have no clue about.
Do you know who these other men are???? You could go to her work and be sitting next to one of them???
What I am telling you is that there is a lot that you do not know and apparently have no interest in really finding out. That is not a good predictor of success.
This forum will be here if you get whacked again. Good luck. Unfortunately, if you go full steam ahead here with blind trust you may need it