Re: Annnnd I'm back
Jay, I think that the reason you're getting some pressure about your choice to tell your wife about things is that it is not the behavior of a man moving on. You don't report to your wife any longer and the level of respect you owe her is one of cordial, diplomatic, minimal information and interaction.
By telling her everything, you are baiting her, whether you know it or not. Friends or not with this other woman, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter to us if you walk women home to safety. It matters to you and should matter ONLY to you.
Your wife's behavior is out of your control, as yours is out of hers, but you both are going to play a very repetitive, tiring, one upmanship game if you don't start living without the need for validation or revenge in any form. It'll kill your true opportunity to detach.
You win the game by not playing.
"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."
~ Abraham Maslow