I am devastated, I will do anything to get her back - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-28-2016, 12:45 AM Thread Starter
JBC
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Re: I am devastated, I will do anything to get her back

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Originally Posted by EleGirl View Post
You held on to your anger at her cheating for years.

Why do you expect her to get over your cheating in 2 weeks?

It takes most people 2 to 5 years to heal from being cheated on.

The two of you sound like peas in a pod. Maybe you both should go to counseling to figure out how to quit hurting each other.
Yes very messed up relationship yet the part that worked was how I am feeling now, the love. It was true, truer than I could of ever imagined now that she is gone. I am wondering if there are any ways to get her back.

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post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-28-2016, 04:54 AM
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Re: I am devastated, I will do anything to get her back

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I would like to think of my wife's and my marriage as different than other peoples. We have been married for 10 years and together for 20 years. She has recently discover that I have stepped out on her a half a dozen times in the past dozen years. I have gone through all the stages of grief, denial, blame, anger, sadness and am stuck in sadness because after 2 weeks she still hates me and wants a divorce a.s.a.p. I know I messed up, there are plenty of reasons why, more to the story, etc. I am wondering if she will ever get past the anger stage and if there is anything I can do to try to get her back. I always knew I loved her but I never knew what this would feel like, the pain is unbearable, it is all I can think about 24/7, my work is suffering, it is a nightmare. I can tell more of the story if anyone wants to know and maybe has advice.
Sounds to me, if you really loved her you wouldn't 'have stepped out' as you so mildly put it.

You are minimising what you have done. You have put a nuke under your wife and your marriage and blown it to hell, face up to what you have done, own it and face the **** storm like a man.

"After 2 weeks she still hates me"....God man, listen to yourself, you have no clue what you have actually done. Until you do, there is no hope for you, you are bloodly clueless and your wife should run as far as she can, I hope she proceeds with the divorce asap.

Go find and pay for a therapist to see why you think it was ok to do what you did and now are in 'denial, blaming, etc' you created the mess, now deal with it.

To add: she cheated, you cheated, neither of you trust the other. Your marriage is dead. Work on yourself to be someone better, stop the porn, the online sites, etc. Get a new life and move on.

Last edited by aine; 08-28-2016 at 04:59 AM. Reason: read the est of it
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post #18 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-28-2016, 04:55 AM
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Re: I am devastated, I will do anything to get her back

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Originally Posted by blueinbr View Post
She is STILL mad after two weeks. Tell her she needs counseling to get over it.
Wow, how dare she be mad a whole two weeks for what her partner of 20 years has done for 12 years.....shame on her!
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