I would like to think of my wife's and my marriage as different than other peoples. We have been married for 10 years and together for 20 years. She has recently discover that I have stepped out on her a half a dozen times in the past dozen years. I have gone through all the stages of grief, denial, blame, anger, sadness and am stuck in sadness because after 2 weeks she still hates me and wants a divorce a.s.a.p. I know I messed up, there are plenty of reasons why, more to the story, etc. I am wondering if she will ever get past the anger stage and if there is anything I can do to try to get her back. I always knew I loved her but I never knew what this would feel like, the pain is unbearable, it is all I can think about 24/7, my work is suffering, it is a nightmare. I can tell more of the story if anyone wants to know and maybe has advice.
Sounds to me, if you really loved her you wouldn't 'have stepped out' as you so mildly put it.
You are minimising what you have done. You have put a nuke under your wife and your marriage and blown it to hell, face up to what you have done, own it and face the **** storm like a man.
"After 2 weeks she still hates me"....God man, listen to yourself, you have no clue what you have actually done. Until you do, there is no hope for you, you are bloodly clueless and your wife should run as far as she can, I hope she proceeds with the divorce asap.
Go find and pay for a therapist to see why you think it was ok to do what you did and now are in 'denial, blaming, etc' you created the mess, now deal with it.
To add: she cheated, you cheated, neither of you trust the other. Your marriage is dead. Work on yourself to be someone better, stop the porn, the online sites, etc. Get a new life and move on.