I've reconsidered my position on this and have tried to get into contact w/ the OMW.
So last spring, when I found out OM's last name (through work emails on WW's phone), I went on beenverified.com and got his address. I show up at the house and a lady answers the door. Come to find out, the address was outdated BUT the lady answering the door asked why I was looking for this guy. I told her and she said she owned the home, OM used to rent from her, they had a falling out, he's a POS and she gave me his new address plus OMW's phone number. I had it all right at my fingertips but knew nothing of this forum or the nature of affairs at the time. I could have been cool, calculating and hit a homerun. But I was hot headed, not thinking at all and made a mess.
I show up at the correct address and he answers the door. This is still last spring. I thought I could intimidate him since I'm a pretty tall and broad dude. Tell him to cut it out. No "or else" just "stop what you're doing, good night." When I get home, I call his wife and leave a VM. (WW much later admits he intercepted that) Next day I text both their bosses, "are you interested in the details of the affair between X and Y?" Ranking boss texts back, "not company policy to interfere in personal lives of employees." I reply, "it's on company time and email." They reply, "still not our business." I act foolishly out of rage and start emailing/texting OM at work. Sent him a meme base on this pic http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/...aster-girl.jpg
He texts me, "stop calling, emailing, texting me, don't come by my house."
Fast forward to now. I still have OMW's number but can't get through. Tried using co-worker's cell phones, multiple lines at work, left vms, no reply. I took to facebook using a burner account (I din't have a "real" facebook, not into social media at all) sent her a friend request and message that was never accepted/returned. Got in touch with MIL of OM on FB and told her there's an affair going on. She says, "find that hard to believe but I'm listening." I tell her it's a co worker and they meet several times a week. I figure we'll have more exchanges but my burner account gets de-activated shortly after that, probably from having the last name "Ishavinganaffair." I create a real facebook account and send friend requests again, have not had anyone accept. Found MIL and FIL on beenverified. Calls to listed numbers have gone un returned.
Later that night (after FB blowup) WW calls me but I don't pick up. I know the call is no coincidence and she's hot that I blew **** up on facebook, if only for a day. But, I did not mention the H on facebook, that's something that needs to be told to OMW privately.
Then, just for ****s, I forward work emails to HR and their bosses realizing WW and OM likely rugswept it. The forwarded emails leave little doubt regarding the nature of their relationship. Next day I get a cease and desist reply from HR but just to not email any employees.
I could show up at OMW's house on a weekday to try and tell her. I'm worried that all these foolish acts (from not handling anger well) has a) me towing the line of getting charged with legitimate harassment or b) WW and OM seeing me as enough of a threat, that they may frame me for harassment (ww can be a calculating person) c) OM having had plenty of time to condition his wife that "some crazy guy may show up, he thinks I'm with his wife, we're just friends, don't take calls, don't answer the door, call the police, etc."
I don't know what, if any options I have left without getting into some **** for harassing people.