Re: Husband caught cheating, doesn't want to be together now.
I don't know u personally, so I can only say what I would do, and that's get rid of him and work on myself. I went through years of abuse and all kinds of stuff with my exH, and the best day of my life was when I marched my happy little ass into the court and filed my divorce papers myself. He had walked out on me while my father was dying, and left me with bills and it was this huge drama...but that day I took my power back and I've never regretted it. I filed the second round of papers, went to court and got my divorce. I felt so empowered cuz I did it myself and I took control to say I'm not living this way any longer...I'm worth more.
My exH wants to reconcile...or at least come sniffing around grumbling about his sad lonely miserable life. Not my problem...period. I act like I'm fine despite my own family issues and whatnot...I won't let him see me suffering. I go to therapy and group at least weekly to help with my trauma and abuse issues. I've never felt this close to my old self.
So, feel free to use my example if it helps you. I know the feelings of confusion because I had them for a very long time. But when I took steps to protect ME and did things that were in MY best interest, it all just fell into place. My only real advice is people don't change unless they work hard in therapy over a long time...like I'm doing and have been doing. If your H isn't doing that, it's gonna be the same stuff again with him. If you focus on you and healing you and always doing what is best for you, you'll realize the right path to take with H. Focusing on yourself helps get you out of the pattern of worrying about how he feels, what he wants....forget him, worry about YOU. You'll make better decisions when you put your interests first. Also get a strong support system...friends, family, counselors, etc because they can help you feel like you're not going out into the world alone...like H is your only source of support...keep your ties to strong people who care about you.
Wishing you peace and success in whatever you choose to do.