Wow so much to say. - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 01:37 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 14
Wow so much to say.

Here is my situation. I have been in a relationship for going 5 years. We have two small children togther. Which makes it really tough. With finances work money etc. Lets just say over the last couple years i have been the best man i could be. I would shut down when things got tough communication sucked. On big fights i would always just leave. I never really understood how that could build into a bigger problem. I do now. We have been seperated going on two months the first couple of weeks were really rocky. I think we both hated eachother for the things that happened. I love this girl with all my heart. Deep down i know she loves me.

Over the years of not really looking back or looking in the mirror. How i have been acting towards her takeing her words. Puting twist on them like she was rude or makeing low balls towards me. Which in fact wasnt the case at all. So that was the reason i shut off passion and intimacy. But this seperation break up has really open my eyes.. ive been reading alot of books to help me see open my eyes. Doing alot of soul serching. Which in fact made me relize how my partner ya she not perfect neither am i. She was trying to hold us togther but i took her words like they were a shot at me. Illike i said i havent been the best partner either. So i really have maned up for all my mistakes. I have done to her. I really tried to move on so has she but it just doesnt work out for both of us. I miss her so much she misses me. We also both agree that time apart to heal and really think about what we want and make sure the same mistakes that keep happening dont happen again is the besr for us.

Specially the kids.. seems like this last past week or so things have been looking up are communication has picked up. We talk alot better we got alot of questions are cheat bout the past and trying to move on etc. We had a 2 conversation last night over the phone. Which was def and i opner. We talk about if we get back togther how can we change. How we can help eachtoher. With the insecurites issues that we had/have. We also have thrown in there that if we do try it again we wont throwbthe past in no one face no matter what. Which is understandable. I agree. I tell her it will be tough at first it may be akward as well. I tell her there alot that going to change about me. Im always going to better my self read these books everyday and apply to are ralationship his and her needs. Love busters. Ive been reading them there alot of freat atuff in there i def can use..

We dont have no set time limit on getting back togther either . We are just takeing it slowly and being there for the kids we talk about how we juat want are family to be togther no matter what. As well i need to change me always leaveing in fights and shuting down that was the major things i have the will the determation to do it. This girl is my first my love. Longe realtibshio to i always want to make it work as well. I know thing will be tough this world is not perfect. I dont dwell on the past. Mabey by my self i will think of things that hirt me. Also when im with that person my full attention is on makeing that person and my self happy. I donr ket devil sweep me up in his sick game and take it out on her all the pain she caused me over the years.

There has never been cheating od anything like that we were broken up when we talk to other well tried anyways.

Last night she called me for 2 hours abd the first things that came out her mouth was how i have alot af food qualitys still to this day that she likes. Soecially we had kids now. She liked how we can sit down and wacth disney movies and joke around she like that im very smart ima fast learner we can schat about anything. She also stated other guys are not like me. Ahe always thinks about me. Vise versa as well. So deep down i do have a great feeling we are going to try it one last time. Togther. Just bot for the kids sake either whoch in fact it will be good for them as well to have both oarent happy that are love with def go down to them in the long run we both know it is good to be togther for them. We also want to do for us. I want to make this work im dedicatied to makeing this work cuz i do have alot of love for this girl i think i just let life get in the way and let the devil play a big part on bringing me negativity. Which im not saying im tottaly changed man but i know how to change my self and make me the best person i can be in face make ger trutly happy which in return qill make insecurtied go away. If i make her happy each and everyday why would i worry its going to end. I would have nothing to worry about at all. So its a win win for everyone. What teuly makes me hapoy is we have alot we share in commen loce doing thing tohther we both really enjoy. I know someday will be tough someday wont. There going to alot of tough times i know life isnt always perfect but i understand i need to turn to her vise versa for her to me. I really belive we can make it. Cuz for some odd reason we always seem to come back to eachother. No matter how hard we try to get away. So i guess with saying that. I truly belive we are meant to be. Now we have to listen to god follow on his path cuz he knows where we will be. He know how to guide us to happyness togther and help us on are journey he beought us togther he ser us free but he always bring us back. So life looks good sobt five up have faith hard work is what its going to take.. just dont give up on love

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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 02-20-2017, 04:50 AM
aine's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Away and beyond in a hot place
Posts: 3,190
Re: Wow so much to say.

Try marriage counselling.
You may need IC first, any person who keeps leaving when there are arguments has other issues probably from childhood, we bring all that baggage to the marriage. Deal with that first.
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