Reconciliation / Texting / Work - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 23 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 06:01 AM
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I have never heard of a psychologist who continually texts with clients. I think it's a bold lie.

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post #17 of 23 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 07:10 AM
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Re: Reconciliation / Texting / Work

It does not sound like the fundamentals are strong for reconciliation, OP.

I am sure it is hard to accept the end of a long relationship, and move on to an eventual new one. But I would highly recommend you do so.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #18 of 23 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 07:37 AM
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Re: Reconciliation / Texting / Work

Why don't you both go to MC and bring this up?

She is behaving shady.

That indicates infidelity, given your post, on her part for sure.

Talking about the "ball of goo" is fine but she is adding to it and making it bigger.

Maybe get some counseling yourself to improve and feel healthier to move on?

She doesn't appear to be a good choice for a mate anymore.
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post #19 of 23 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 05:05 PM
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Re: Reconciliation / Texting / Work

Originally Posted by rockandsand View Post
As part of complete transparency, I suggested that we each let the other see our text messages and also view our phone bills. She would have no part of it! She very sternly said that she is not talking to anyone romantically and is only texting her psychologist.
Yep, shes lying and has probably been in a physical affair, maybe more than one. She acted not married at work for a reason. No transparency tell you all you need to know.

You need to stop hanging around this. If you don't have trust you have nothing.

Hard 180 only text or email very civil but short kids only. I applaud you for fling and going through with the D but your current actions seem doormatish and codependent.

Read up and apply to your current situation you went halfway and stopped.
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post #20 of 23 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 05:08 PM
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Re: Reconciliation / Texting / Work

Originally Posted by rockandsand View Post
We have agreed on complete transparency. I just do not trust that she is living by our agreement because of our past EAs. She got the house, I got the investments.
She didn't.

Quit projecting your feelings of love on her. It's obvious she doesn't feel the same way about you as you do her.

Better wake up
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post #21 of 23 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 05:18 PM
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Re: Reconciliation / Texting / Work

Why would you consider reconciling with a woman you can't trust? I'd call her on it today. Tell her that you are unable to consider reuniting with her after all because you can't trust her.
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post #22 of 23 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 05:19 PM
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Re: Reconciliation / Texting / Work

I wouldn't reconcile. What are you reconciling? She sounds like she's still the same person you left. If nothing has changed, what are you ''reconciling?''

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post #23 of 23 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 05:24 PM
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Re: Reconciliation / Texting / Work

25 years together and trust issues.... says a lot right there. Her actions about the texts reminds

me of a friend's about his cell phone. Oh.... he was a dealer. Unless you can get complete

transparency, this will never work. And if you have to fight tooth n nail to get transparency...

that is... a R killer.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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