Re: Reconciliation / Texting / Work
This sounds a lot like my situation, the only difference is that we have not divorced yet. The amount of time my wife texts is want lead me to find out about her first EA affair, and was also the reason I kept my guard up leading me to find out about her second. Having had a EA myself first and her finding out about it is what I guess always keeps me questions our whole "ball of goo".
Although her second EA hasn't been resolved between us yet since I only recently found out about it, the thing I think about most are the trust issues. I have done a lot of reading recently about online / texting affairs, steps to try and rebuild trust and just working on my marriage in general. The one thing I've come to realize is that there is no one answer, or an easy one. The conclusion that I've come to is this. We know our partners, we know them or knew them on the most intimate levels. We've both had and been caught having emotional affairs, we know the signs of them as well as the consequence. After all of my thinking, reading, researching and everything else, the only thing I see as a solution is time.
If the trust is ever going to return it's just going to take time, time together and time apart. Time to see if any of those indicators show up again, and if they do to address them and talk about them immediately. Drop all expectations of the other and just see what happens. In my case we are very close to divorce, and in yours it's already happened. The worst really is behind us at this point, so what could dropping your expectations and just seeing how things go over time hurt?