I'll try to keep this as short as possible. Wife and I were married 21 years before we divorced. She had a 4 month affair 7 years into marriage, then another that led to our divorce. I always felt we had a good marriage other than the short affair she had early on. She's a serial cheater and you only know the "tip of the iceberg".
I forgave, never forgot, and moved on. We never really even talked about it when it was over. We didn't fight, there were no addictions, nothing. She says we didn't communicate well enough. I agree that we didn't do all we needed to. Obviously she didn't tell you it was an open marriage on her end. DNA your kids!!!
No marriage is perfect and she isn't either. Did you go out and cheat on her because of her imperfections?
We have 3 children aged 16, 13, and 7. We got married in 1992 and divorced in 2013. The last affair started on facebook and was a whirlwind. I suspected her around Christmas 2011 and found proof in February. She swore to end it with him but never did. He bought a house for them in the town where we live and she moved out in November 2012.
I read every book I could read, every website, every blog. She was so in love with him that nothing would stop her. You didn't learn a thing. You can't make her do anything but you should have fixed yourself. Codependency will destroy you.
I filed but postponed the divorce 3 times because she said she didn't want to lose our family and wanted to reconcile. She has always said she was leaving him and coming home through email. Yes, email is the only communication she uses with me and has been for about 4 years. She's said that she'll be home on this day or that day probably a thousand times. Every time there's an excuse why she didn't leave him. She's never stopped saying that she loves me and only me. Says she made the biggest mistake of her life. Says there's been no sex between them for over 2 years
She has promised to do everything we could ever need to reconcile but always adds "when I get back home" to the end. So, I've been on this rollercoaster from hell for over 5 years. Now for me....I have not dated anyone since the divorce. Cheaters lie a lot in case you haven't figured that out yet. Her actions are what count and she's still there with him isn't she? You are being played for a fool and allowing it to happen. You ok with that for another 5 or 10 years? Huh?
I've always wanted my family back and been willing to work it out with her. I have always loved her and would have jumped at the chance. She knows this. Probably relishes in seeing you alone and under her total control. I'd bet she and her other man have had many laughs over you and how she's able to play you so well.
We share joint custody, I work all week and keep my kids every weekend. She doesn't work so she has all week when the kids are in school plus weekends to herself. Makes it hard for me to do much at all, I'm a Dad first and want my kids to know that. Ok....last week I finally get the courage to put myself out there to see what happens. I meet someone and have been out with her once so far. She has been really great and we both have expressed interest in taking things farther to see where they lead. She's divorced also and doesn't want to get hurt, neither do I. My problem is that my ex told me again last night she was coming home this weekend. Granted, she probably wouldn't have, but I told her I was seeing someone. This took things to a whole new level. Now she says she's ready to do anything and is begging me to let her come home. She still lives with the man she had the affair with. I don't want to make a mistake here and look back and wish I had done something different. My heart is telling me to keep seeing the new woman but what if my ex is sincere now? I know I'll get blasted for even considering my ex, but I can handle it. I need affirmation I'm doing the right things ReRead your post and pretend it's your brother or a close friend. What would you think?
Time for you to WAKE THE HELL UP!!!!!