Re: How to handle this??
Cut your ex out of your life to the furthest degree possible, and do it NOW.
Unfriend and block her on any and all social media.
Redirect her emails to a specific folder nested in your inbox, and check the folder ONLY when she has the kids. Reply to noting that doesn't explicitly concern the kids.
If she keeps up the "when I come home" bull****, attach the following to your emails as a signature of sorts...
"You're not 'coming home'.
As a serial wayward, you no longer have any value to me as a spouse.
In fact, there is no place for you anywhere in my life other than as a co-parent to our children, and once we've seen that task through to each of their adulthoods, that will also be over.
I've moved on.
You should too."
On a side note, it's pretty likely that she had other affairs that you never discovered.
Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."
Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."