Re: How to handle this??
Man, 5 years and still being strung along. I can understand you wanting things to be healthy and happy with her but from what you've written, it's never going to happen.
I mean, she lied about going to a funeral with the OM. She sounds pathological.
As another poster stated, you need to discover what the parameters of a healthy relationship can be. The problem is, the high-level of dysfunction in your former marriage is making that difficult for you. I'd imagine that the drama you experienced in it, and after it ended, feels safe and almost like a drug to you. I felt the same way about my soon to be over marriage. If there wasn't something to fix or conflict it felt somehow more unstable. It's what happens when people grow accustomed to volatility.
You being open reconciliation has nothing to do with her, the person she was or the person she is now. It has everything to do with returning to what you feel is familiar and safe. Not safe in a literal sense, but rather it makes you feel like life is operating as it should—no matter how messed up the situation really is.
She cheated at least twice, lied about, lied and continues to lie about anything that might challenge the narrative she's crafting for you and only wanted to jump back in once she felt the threads coming apart due to you going out for a date; one date in 5 years! Send an email telling her it's over in as short and congenial way as possible and then only talk to her about your kids.
Last edited by golfpanther; 03-08-2017 at 05:28 PM.