Reconciling with my ex-wife, after she married and divorced - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
Reconciliation This forum is for those focused on reconciliation and success stories from people who have been through separation and reconciled successfully.

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post #46 of 60 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 08:27 PM
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Re: Reconciling with my ex-wife, after she married and divorced

So enjoy her until she screws up----of you can keep from getting attached. I'd seriously never, ever marry her again. Exactly what would the "vows" be like, anyway?

I think a cheater getting remarried is just despicable. Why even consider yourself worthy of making a vow again? You've proven yourself incapable of keeping it.

Don't. Just don't . Never give her the wife title again. NSA dating.

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post #47 of 60 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 09:23 PM
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Re: Reconciling with my ex-wife, after she married and divorced

are you insane? Leopards don't change their spots. she will just use you again until the next swinging di** comes along.
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post #48 of 60 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 09:32 PM
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Re: Reconciling with my ex-wife, after she married and divorced

Matador,

Your wife left you and remarried but you kept hanging on it seems. Hope is a dangerous thing it keeps you bound to where you were.

You can't developed another relationship because your X is still in the mix.

You'll never develope or have a future doing this. You'd be smart to cut all unnecessary contact and stop acting like a puppy waiting for tablescraps.

Do you think any woman is going to respect that long term? You are just a temporary shoulder to cry on.
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post #49 of 60 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 09:54 PM
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Re: Reconciling with my ex-wife, after she married and divorced

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Originally Posted by sokillme View Post
There was no marriage in between, no kids with the person he cheated on her with. That's a bid difference.
That is correct. His question was does reconciliation after divorce ever work out. That is the only instance I know of, and it did work out.

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post #50 of 60 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 10:05 PM
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Re: Reconciling with my ex-wife, after she married and divorced

What makes you think it will work out the second time?

Insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting a different result.
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post #51 of 60 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 10:40 PM
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Re: Reconciling with my ex-wife, after she married and divorced

She's never been on her own before. And now with five children to deal with as a single parent. What better person to rescue her than her ex-husband, she thinks, since he's the father of two of the children (and might even help with the other three as well). Don't do it. And stop having sex with her (that only complicates things).
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post #52 of 60 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 01:13 AM
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Re: Reconciling with my ex-wife, after she married and divorced

Ehh she left you in 2007 😐 you admit that you weren't the most attentive husband and that your wife was & still is quite attractive. You haven't found a steady woman in 10 years, you're not getting any younger, you and your ex have 2 kids and a history together AND she's not using you for money because she has her own 🤔
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post #53 of 60 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 03:22 AM
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Re: Reconciling with my ex-wife, after she married and divorced

Shes a skunk.

If you take her back just realise your taking a skunk back.
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post #54 of 60 (permalink) Old 04-01-2017, 04:49 AM
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Re: Reconciling with my ex-wife, after she married and divorced

It's your choice, but sticking around with her just so you can hope to pump & dump her and hurt her just shows a man that's still bitter and unable to move on since 2007. That's over 9 years of bitterness, with a revenge plan playing out in your mind. That's no more healthy than her inability to live alone.

I think you two should only talk business regarding children and stay apart otherwise. You both have some introspection to focus on.

"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

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post #55 of 60 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 10:17 AM
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Re: Reconciling with my ex-wife, after she married and divorced

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Originally Posted by Evinrude58 View Post
I hear getting Back with an ex is like shoving poo back up in your arse.
Quote of the day!!!

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post #56 of 60 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 10:25 AM
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Cool Re: Reconciling with my ex-wife, after she married and divorced

If you do choose to reconcile, then let's just say that you had better grow eyes in the back of your head!

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post #57 of 60 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 10:36 AM
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Re: Reconciling with my ex-wife, after she married and divorced

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She seems like she'd do anything you'd ask of her, because she's auditioning to become your wife again. Once she realizes she isn't going to get that role back, she will stop pretending. It's your life of course, we can only offer opinions, but I'd end this, and move on. If you continue, you'll fall back in love with her again.. people always catch feelings in these situations, when they think it's only about sex.
I agree, she would do anything for you right now either because she is "auditioning" or she just wants a place to be between thrills. I would definitely end it right away and move on. She was bad the first time, don't give her a second chance to screw up your life.

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post #58 of 60 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 11:57 AM
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Re: Reconciling with my ex-wife, after she married and divorced

From what you have shared here, you weren't really that into her and your marriage died because of it. Rather than divorcing you and then starting a new relationship after she had sufficient time to heal, she was swept off her feet while still married to you. She wanted things to work with you and asked you to work on the marriage, but you weren't into her, so she left and went full into a new relationship. Is that correct?

If this is really what happened this way and is not a rewriting of history to minimize her role in the situation, why are you interested in her now? What has changed that makes you want to be with her now when you clearly didn't seem into her at all by the time she finally had enough of being ignored and left? Do you believe you can meet each other's needs now when you didn't in the past? It appears that her ex #2 paid a lot of attention to her and spent a lot of time with her until he found someone else. It sounds like that is very important to her. It probably doesn't matter what you do with her as long as she has your attention and affection, which she didn't have when she left you. She is not going to be happy if you can't give her the time and attention she requires.

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post #59 of 60 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 01:07 PM
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Re: Reconciling with my ex-wife, after she married and divorced

Going to go against the grain. Mostly because it's fun, but nobody has talked about it yet.

Her perspective, which I assume is immature, but truthful perhaps. She tried to work on the brokenness in her marriage with you, it didn't work out because she didn't know how to work on it and there was a guy who put everything on the table including caring for 2 kids not his own. She "traded up" into a life of passion.

10 years later, she discovers him for what he is, realizes you would have never done this. Perhaps this is her moment of realization that she made mistakes. I wonder, would she agree with you to put marriage off the table, but go to couples counseling to discuss where and why the EA happened? Will you both be willing to put in the hard labor to build trust which really will just barely make it work?

On a side note, will you on the side work on yourself. You say you are 5"10 and 160 therefore not muscular. I am 5"9 and 153 and often get called athletic even have some women call me bulky in terms of muscle. I do very little, and get rewarded a lot. So get back on the horse, and take care of yourself first. Basically, as one guy talking to another, I call bull**** on your words. You may never be a heavy lifter decked out dude bro, but you can make significant improvement to yourself to where YOU FEEL good.

To be fair, it's been 10 years. Plenty of time for both people to grow. Someone very close to me, had a wife with an EA, so he countered with an EA, she countered even harder with an EA, he had a PA, obviously on the brink of divorce. Counseling, and a never ending reconciliation later. They are still together. Point is, success does happen and they never logged into the forum and heard the overwhelming presence of "run away".

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post #60 of 60 (permalink) Old 04-08-2017, 08:58 AM
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Re: Reconciling with my ex-wife, after she married and divorced

Won't ex-wife lose her alimony and child support if she re-marries? Also, income tax considerations, filing joint with two high incomes = tax penalty. Just leave status single, live seperately, date other people in additon to each other, go on family outings. Do the new three count as dependants for ex-husband2? Are the 3 younger kids ex-husband2's or did they bring in the 3rd man to breed her?

None of this is my business. But hey, it's just a fictional story anyway.
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