For instance, you could keep a VAR on you and record his angry outbursts. After gathering a lot of audio evidence, you could then give a copy to a trusted third party and inform him that if he does not accept that his behavior is wrong and work to change it, you will leave. And if he tries to make up lies about you in order to paint himself as the victim, you will use the recordings to set the story straight.
I had to look up what VAR meant but I do think it could be a good idea, if for nothing else than when/if we have to have a conversation. Before we separated I let my phone record a "fight" that my husband and I had. I didn't yell because I didn't want to make it worse but he was and he was being rough. Just playing it back to myself made me realize how bad it sounded (and was). I think if he heard that himself he might realize more what he was doing. I would have to look into the legality of it, especially before using it to incriminate.
He's not been given a year though. I think this guy is being treated like some kind of criminal. He admits he has made mistakes and wants to change. Shouldn't he be given a chance? Or would it be better to destroy the family just so there is a little less control. What does the OP want, to control everything herself? I don't see why these two can't work on their marriage and have it be better for everyone involved.
I can't fully blame him for all of our problems because I didn't want to make waves. If I didn't agree with something or didn't want to do something I went along with it without making a sign that I didn't want to. Some things he knew I didn't want to do and I'd say that I didn't want to, but I never put my foot down. I always caved. I enabled him. If he can fix it now that he really knows and the reality set it, I want to give it a chance...
This doesn't make sense. How is it being thrown out? It you haven't gone to court yet the judge won't have decided on that.
My lawyer and my husband's have both said that it's not going to stand. Based on when and how it was written and circumstances now and if it were implemented.
I don't understand not giving him a chance. There are kids involved with a new one on the way, and no history of infidelity. It's worth trying to fix the problems before tossing out the marriage.
If we could fix our problems and be happy together, it would be better for our kids. They are very affected right now and it's clear in their behaviour. I don't want to hurt my kids either, but giving false hope or putting them into a situation to be hurt. It would be a long time before I would be ready to move back in with my husband.