Help in decision to try again....
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Reconciliation This forum is for those focused on reconciliation and success stories from people who have been through separation and reconciled successfully.

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Old 01-07-2012, 03:26 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Help in decision to try again....

My husband and I have been separated for 4 years. I was the one to move out...long story but bottom line is I felt so disrespected by him and then by him AND my son. Like I was something to put up with to get through the day, an obstacle to deal with. He has been asking for a few years to try again with our marriage..(26 years) . At first I thought no way, but, I don't know anymore...no one knows me like him, and I do get lonley..though been asked out enough times and have dated here and there...the men are all so serious and want a committment way too fast! I feel loss of family (his too) more than anything and getting tired of my little apartment by myself. He has acknowledged mistakes, as have I...advice please??? I can't keep going on like this..living in limbo. I know he loves me, I don't know if I love him the same way.
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Old 01-07-2012, 06:38 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Help in decision to try again....

In my opinion, every marriage that can be saved should be saved. If you still love your husband and think there is even a small chance it could work I say go for it. He's willing to work on his issues which a lot of spouses aren't. You tried the separation so if it doesn't work after this last try you know you are done. I haven't tried it myself but a lot of people on here recommend marital counseling. I say give it your all and see where it goes. God Bless
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Old 01-07-2012, 11:21 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Help in decision to try again....

Excellent response by army wife.....I couldn't have said it better. I wish my husband would try.

I hope your decision will come to you quickly. Best of luck.
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Old 01-09-2012, 07:02 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Help in decision to try again....

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Originally Posted by sandy2499 View Post
My husband and I have been separated for 4 years. I was the one to move out...long story but bottom line is I felt so disrespected by him and then by him AND my son. Like I was something to put up with to get through the day, an obstacle to deal with. He has been asking for a few years to try again with our marriage..(26 years) . At first I thought no way, but, I don't know anymore...no one knows me like him, and I do get lonley..though been asked out enough times and have dated here and there...the men are all so serious and want a committment way too fast! I feel loss of family (his too) more than anything and getting tired of my little apartment by myself. He has acknowledged mistakes, as have I...advice please??? I can't keep going on like this..living in limbo. I know he loves me, I don't know if I love him the same way.
4 years wow, you guys are patient. I don't know if I could be in limbo that long. Sounds like you need to see an IC and find out why you can't let go of past resentments. If you cannot or refuse to you should tell your husband and well let him go to be happy. The length of time of your seperation should kind of tell you. Familiarity and lonliness should not be your key factors to reconciling. Read some of Gary Smalleys books or Judy Bodners, When Love Dies.
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