How to Reconcile with Bitter Spouse - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
Reconciliation This forum is for those focused on reconciliation and success stories from people who have been through separation and reconciled successfully.

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post #31 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-12-2017, 01:44 PM
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Re: How to Reconcile with Bitter Spouse

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This is embarrassing to admit but what really sent me over the edge is I went to my desktop yesterday. I used it once to try to login her facebook a long time ago but she didn't save PW. My phone wasnt working right and so I needed to order flea pills for dogs and what you know, amazon was still up on desktop. She has been ordering sex toys and all kinds of weird stuff. That was the nail in the coffin.
I know it hurts but look at it this way, all this could've happened 10-15 years into your marriage after you built a life and a million great memories together. Read the article "No More Mr. Nice Guy", it will help you to work on yourself and make you a stronger person for the next relationship.

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post #32 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-12-2017, 02:22 PM
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Re: How to Reconcile with Bitter Spouse

Stay strong, and have a plan for when she comes crawling back. Because they often do.

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.


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post #33 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-12-2017, 02:31 PM Thread Starter
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Re: How to Reconcile with Bitter Spouse

I think recon should be out the picture. I never say never but one spouse living the good life while the other has hit rock bottom is enough, esp after 8 months. I have to do this for me. I talked to her saying how crazy this is and she says nothing and gets mad. She said shes filing for the divorce so I said be my guest, hope your lover is what you always dreamed of. Sick and damned tired of feeling this way.

Plus this guy always liked her, I seen him before but didn't care based off his appearance. He was always a snake in the grass, but once my wife needed a shoulder to cry on she called him. Rest is history. At this point, they are way to infatuated for me to get in between.

Im being naive and looking for a secret trick to make it work, just acting desperate. We all know where desperation leads.
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post #34 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-12-2017, 02:35 PM Thread Starter
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Re: How to Reconcile with Bitter Spouse

Im a pretty likable guy and have a descent bit of friends but when she moved out, I stayed home all the time just waiting for her to arrive. I thought she was sad so I was trying to be there for her. Meanwhile the whole time, shes in Colorado sno skiing, going new Orleans every weekend, buying sex toys (We generally had great sex or so I thought and never used that). I was sad and sat at home making excuses of why I couldnt see my friends this whole time. Some friends know now and I have been golfing alot, music events, etc. So its getting better.
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post #35 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-12-2017, 03:55 PM
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Re: How to Reconcile with Bitter Spouse

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Im a pretty likable guy and have a descent bit of friends but when she moved out, I stayed home all the time just waiting for her to arrive. I thought she was sad so I was trying to be there for her. Meanwhile the whole time, shes in Colorado sno skiing, going new Orleans every weekend, buying sex toys (We generally had great sex or so I thought and never used that). I was sad and sat at home making excuses of why I couldnt see my friends this whole time. Some friends know now and I have been golfing alot, music events, etc. So its getting better.
If I were your best friend observing what she's doing to you, I would do what my best friend did to me: Demanded that I divorce my cheating wife and stop being a whiny wuss and man up. I did. You have to also.
THis woman you're married to does not have the only vagina in the world, she is obviously not the nicest person, and has low morals. Just how in the heck would you not be better off divorcing her? Don't let her file. YOU file, and put on the papers that the reason is adultery and specify the name of the OM.

You can be happy again, and you WON'T miss her eventually. AND you can find a much better woman that you'll love 10x more than this one. Don't let this cheating wretch do this to you. If you know she's buying sex toys, she's even flaunting this **** in front of you. OMG I'd be so done with her.
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post #36 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-12-2017, 04:23 PM Thread Starter
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Re: How to Reconcile with Bitter Spouse

Shes not flaunting it in front me. Her account pw was still saved from the last time she used it which was October. I always use my phone, rarely use desktop except while at work. Thats why Im seeing it now.

She actually doesnt flaunt anything in front of me. She just has a secret life who filters everything on social media and friends. Shes been lying to her own friends so she know its wrong, she just aint ready for backlash.
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post #37 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-14-2017, 12:21 PM
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Re: How to Reconcile with Bitter Spouse

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I have made several posts on other sections on here. Most answers came back to divorce her, which I have every right to and cant disagree. However, I do want to exhaust every opportunity. Heres a brief version:

My wife and I are 30 years old. Together for 7 and married for 1.5. We began having problems about midway through our relationship, just general communication issues, lack of affection, etc (Mostly on my end). We were always madly in love though, so I thought. In September 2016 she began leaving for weekends at a time and wanted space. Came home in October 2016 and she was gone, I mean everything except bed, couch, tv, and some cups and silverware. Received an email later that night that she wants to get my attention, that she wants me to realize her worth. She would never tell me where she lives so I found that strange. She began acting strange. We seen each other maybe once a week. Fast forward March 2017, find out she moved in with a guy who always liked her. They have been together since she left. Shes mad and says her affair is my fault. We still talk everyday and she says she loves me, not in love deal. She does not know if she wants to be with me anymore. She cant choose between me and him. I, her husband, am now the side piece. I really want to make this work but have lost hope and self respect. Anyone on here gone through this and came out with a happy ending? And how did you do it?

I know this looks grim, not expecting a good outcome.
Where is your PRIDE? I'm actually embarrassed FOR you.

Jesus, the woman moves OUT on you while you're not home, like a sneaky common thief. Then she plays head games with you about 'recognizing her worth' after she's proven how low down the food chain she already IS. You engage in her bullcrap even though you've already been completely disrespected by her low-rent moving out without your knowledge. I'm willing to bet you've continually begged her to love you and promised her the moon and swore you'd be 'better' if she'd only come home and blah blah blah since the day she pulled this sleazy move.

And she's continued jerking your chain while you gratefully accept any pathetic attention you get from her.

Now you find out she's even LOWER down the food chain than she'd originally appeared - and had actually moved in with the creep she'd been spending weekends with while still married to you.

Does you pride FINALLY make an appearance and you dump her when you learn this heinous new information?

Nope. You just ask for ways to improve the degrading and humiliating "Pick Me" dance you've been feverishly dancing for FAR too long.
Quote:
Im being naive and looking for a secret trick to make it work, just acting desperate. We all know where desperation leads.
I couldn't have said it better myself.

Stop disrespecting yourself. Ugh.
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