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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Talk About Divorce and Separation »Reconciliation » A brick wall. Am I done?

Reconciliation This forum is for those focused on reconciliation and success stories from people who have been through separation and reconciled successfully.

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Old 01-22-2012, 09:16 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: A brick wall. Am I done?

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Originally Posted by Runs like Dog View Post
Being a somewhat sardonic and mistrustful person myself, I am still amazed at how little work people do to cover their tracks. So little in fact I'm left with the conclusion that she wanted you to find that. The question you need to ask her, and yourself, is why? Why did she want you to hear this. What is she trying to ask you to do for her? Which problem is she looking for you to fix? Her problem or yours?
I think she wanted him to find it too. I mean, I would have removed private, personal things that i dind't want him to see BEFORE leaving my car with him all day.

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Old 01-22-2012, 09:47 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Default Re: A brick wall. Am I done?

Again, I can assure you she had no intention of having me find out. In fact, I'm sure she will be extremely angry when she finds out that I know. I simply got lucky (or unlucky).

Considering this is serving as a complex emotional affair for her where she is being guided by unsafe forces (it is unsafe isn't it?), should I expose my knowledge of it? Should I put effort into stopping it?

So confused and sad.
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Old 01-26-2012, 01:56 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: A brick wall. Am I done?

She won't stop listening to it. The therapist has her convinced that she will fall in love for the "first time" in her life with a different man and she's so happy about it.

I'm starting to believe in the therapist's message myself.

I have had an awakening of my own and can easily claim I love her unconditionally no matter what choices she makes, but I can't help thinking I'm losing the love of my life to some paid therapist's imagination.

What should I do? Please help me. She's so happy with this recording, it's all she listens to and thinks about all day. What the hell do I do to get her out of this phase?

man... I feel the strongest love I've ever felt for her, but she's happily dreaming about a future husband who she will fall in love with "for the first time". She actually believes now that she was never in love.

I feel like I'm getting played by uncontrollable forces here.
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Old 01-26-2012, 07:23 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Default Re: A brick wall. Am I done?

Use it. Be the man she will fall in love with like the tape says.
Be the future husband.

Start taking her out on dates. Start wooing her.
Her mind is probably ripe for all those things right now, if she is anticipating falling in love.
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Old 01-26-2012, 07:43 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Default Re: A brick wall. Am I done?

Look your wife is paying him. He is only telling her what she wants to hear. You cant blame him. He wants more money from her and wants her to come back again. Your best bet would be to go to him and pay him double that he should say what you want.
All that aside. Whatever has been wrong till now and you dont tell us, you may say you have improved. Thats not the same as your wife saying so. Why not go to MC together instead of to this religious fanatic.
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Old 01-26-2012, 10:44 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Default Re: A brick wall. Am I done?

Thank you both.

Deejov, that's exactly what I have successfully managed to do. I completely let go of my insecurities and pride to unconditionally love her and it feels so good. I have shown remorse for the things that she got hurt by. I'm genuinely sending her loads of affection/positive energy. There's no way she's not enjoying it!

Accept,

You're right. This guy's words have actually made me more motivated than ever. I will prove to her that I'm a worthy lover and a serious husband. Even if she breaks my heart, I will make myself and example of what she should seek in her next life.

She doesn't want to go to MC. I wish
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Old 01-26-2012, 11:02 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Default Re: A brick wall. Am I done?

She wants to have dinner with me now.

I can easily anticipate hurt. She will want me to leave her alone and help get the divorce process going. I have very little doubt.

I don't want to give up.
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Old 01-26-2012, 11:04 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Default Re: A brick wall. Am I done?

We talked, cried, drank, ate and kissed. I think I have fallen in love for the first time in my life. This is more than I could have wished for.

My work has just begun. Life is beautiful for now. Tomorrow is another day.
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Old 01-28-2012, 10:42 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Default Re: A brick wall. Am I done?

Synthetic, youre awesome,going though this and you offer very sound advise,wish I was as strong as you.keep up the good fight.
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Old 01-28-2012, 11:57 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Default Re: A brick wall. Am I done?

Thanks Calvin. It's far from a reconciliation, but I have no intention of giving up just yet.

Here's the rest of the story:

Sent the wife this letter. I actually mean it and love myself for it
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Old 01-29-2012, 08:35 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Default Re: A brick wall. Am I done?

Wow Synthetic,I feel for you man,I admire how determind you are to make this work and it seems to me there is some progress.Youre in a tough situation....keep plowing,best of luck
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Old 01-30-2012, 02:51 AM   #27 (permalink)
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Default Re: A brick wall. Am I done?

we have reconciled. for real. she is in my arms in our bed. she moved back with all her stuff. shes crying and telling me she loves me and our deep bond

never doubt the power of pure love. it saved our marriage.

read the letters i sent her and tell the doubters to get a life. love always wins. always

love you all

Im as happy as i could possibly be
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Old 02-07-2012, 02:43 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Default Re: A brick wall. Am I done?

Love that you didn't give up....I really thought I had checked out of our marriage for good but when a man is really in love he never gives up..Just like how Calvin didn't give up..I was wrong..had no idea there was still hope..hubby proved it..good luck to u
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Old 06-18-2012, 12:03 AM   #29 (permalink)
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Default Re: A brick wall. Am I done?

Hows the progress? Keep us posted
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Old 06-18-2012, 09:26 AM   #30 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dymo View Post
You can't control what others say to her. You can only control you.

Don't spend your energy fretting on things that cannot be changed.
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You are so correct. I am going through the same thing. My ex wife divorced me and wants no contact. My sister works with her and they had a conversation. In my case I admit my faults and instead of feeling sorry for myself (why oh why did she leave me). I try and better myself everyday. I enrolled in school got a second job continue to draw (I want to start a shirt company) and express my feelings more to family. They get random I love you texts. All I can do is focus on the problem. Do I love my ex? Of course. Do I miss her and want her back? Yes . But it's tge fact that I do love her that I stay away and focus on me. Because at the end wether I get her back or later move on, I still want the best for us and that will only be when I get my life in order.
My advice to anyone. If you have faults and your wife has had enough or (hopefully you realize ir before then) fix yourself. There is nothing like being a happy person.

I suffer from depression but I'm beating it. Little by little. You can do the same
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