havnot

Hi all, (sorry for long thread)

After a couple of really bad episodes in December(i melted down as couldnt take all marital/personal problems we both had and were pushing eachother away...

I've come to the conclusion my wife is suffering from post traumatic stress from the last episode where i physically hurt myself as i couldnt take it anymore...

She started suffering from paranoia and anxiety, being scared to go out, thinking someone is in the appartment when she was the only one there as we had seperated and i was living else where. she's away at the moment as she had a family member die, she's saying she will be back in a week or 2, that would have been 3-4 weeks out of the country (6-7 weeks seperated)

ive been in the appartment as we have a cat to look after (lap cat means more to her than any human!!!)

she is 100% confident that we will get through this, but is worried for my expectations when she comes home. i know i'm moving into the spare room and have a set of rules to stick too (all reasonable).

Ive made great headway with IC, she has an IC but hadnt got to see her as had to fly away for funeral at short notice.
she has described that she is being pulled towards me, but then repelled from me at the same time (used a magnet analogy). she says she needs to move closer towards me slowly and she knows we'll get there...

I've read that PTSD can happen in these situations, but im not sure how i should act to make the situation the best possible for her return (ive re-docarated as a suprise)??

Before she left (while seperated) we got very close on a date, almost sexual but she feaked and had a panic attack.

She getting a little bitter/resentful that i'm doing so well, happy and sociable while shes feeling so down and not like herself.. she wanted me to be happy and sociable and this is getting better every day (she admits its catch 22 as she also is glad im not depressed and inactive!)

all things point to long term bliss as things will/have changed on both sides, just need help in living with her and attracting her without pushing her away..


Thank you..

havnot

Ive also been following most of the 180, to make it easier on me when she's been away and not to push her... been waiting for her to contact me etc, following up with old friends etc... this was good for giving her space as i wouldnt hear from her for a couple of days, but i was ok with that as she was with positive family and i was keeping busy... when should 180 stop when getting into the R?