ReconciliationThis forum is for those focused on reconciliation and success stories from people who have been through separation and reconciled successfully.
Back when Calvin was always stressed I'd try to explain to my therapist before he met him..I'd say unpleasant things then back it up with "but he really is a great guy" it was hard to describe him but now the Calvin has worked VERY hard on himself..yes he is the best btw nice to meet u synthetic, haven't read or heard your story yet but maybe Kevin (Calvin) will show me or tell me..I'm interested Posted via Mobile Device
did you write a NC letter to the OM?
are you prepared to know that it may take 2-5 years for your husband to fully heal from the infidelity?
are you completely transparent now, sharing passwords, allowing him to look at your phone, etc?
Synthetic,I'm very glad things are working out for you. Yow ere one of the people on this site that really helped me and the wife make it this far,I appreciate it.I cant believe how down I was compared to now.our relationship is still a work in progress but I feel good about where we are headed,this time the cloudes really are breaking Posted via Mobile Device
did you write a NC letter to the OM?
are you prepared to know that it may take 2-5 years for your husband to fully heal from the infidelity?
are you completely transparent now, sharing passwords, allowing him to look at your phone, etc?
Yes Calvin and I both had words with him due to him contacting us..Yes I gave up all contact with him and yes I am being transparent..not holding anything back..yes I hate what I did and I own it..now it's time to fix myself and repair our relationship and move forward not backward. Posted via Mobile Device
This one is for Spudster,take back the nice things you said if you want,there is more than meets the eye but I am trying my best not to be too critical of her right now,I want this to work in the worst kind of way. Posted via Mobile Device
really nice that you guys managed to work stuff out.
can i ask how long you were apart? did either of you feel it would never work again? and was one or both of you adamant it would never work again...no matter what?
I'm Cals wife, I really really didn't think it would work..felt like he loved the person he wanted me to be and not the real me but I also found out I was totally wrong. Posted via Mobile Device
Ok,been a little while,guess its time for an update,or a downdate.things have been going pretty good,some sandbags along the way though.I have really changed myself and I am much more happy with the way I am,she is too.She says I am a great huband and a good guy but she has told me that maybe OM may have problems but she said maybe he is a nice guy..ugh.The R seems to be going pretty well,she even told me a few days ago she thought the bad in our marriage was also due to her,she actually said "I thought it was all your fault"guess she seen the contributions to our marriage she made caused it to almost fail.please dont get me wrong I love her all the way and I feel she does feel the same for me.She has been truthful about the EA with the other man doesnt like him at all,said she hates him but the triggers that have come lately are really taking a toll on me.OM went on a fishing expedition yesterday by "accidently butt dialing her number on valentines day,which was supposed to be special for us.Instead,after his call I confronted him,he wouldnt talk to me directly on the phone but we both sent threatening text back and forth,yes he got the no contact letter.OM says that this is between him and my wife,mind you I have complete access to everything,sya she is his,always has been,always will be.Guy is a loser,wife knows it,she was pissed too.After a lot of angry text he agreed to meet me,said he was coming to my house(He's never been here but can find easily)then agreed to meet me at the park,never showed,he sent text saying he was at my house,I raced back home and of course he wasnt here.He sent me on a couple goose chases and he enjoyed it.afterwards I sent some text to him(he wont talk on phone to me) called him out again and called him every every unmanly name in the book.now my wife is scared and afraid I'll really fu#k this guy up,oh I will.We blocked him from phones today,yeah it cost me $ but I dont care.My wife is nauseated and sick today and quiet,not very lovable.I've been triggering pretty bad but have Posted via Mobile Device
Kept my cool,big test here.After all this it seems like we both have had a setback on our R but things are still better than they were a month ago.I guess I'm venting here,I am worried somewhat and having a hard time reading her right now.What if anything do you folks make of this,cause I'm not really sure.this is hard but the effort does seem to be paying off,I want this to work so bad.....sorry,long got carried away Posted via Mobile Device
Don't expect a strait line to R, it is going to be 3 steps forward one step back. You are being two reactive I think.
Try to take the long view. Know that the way you go about getting to your goal is as important as getting there.
The OM is insignificant now. He want to upset things because you won. He was a loser and he still is. He know that and he is jealous.
Calm down and you control things don't be controlled by them. Anticipate that she will test you and you have to be prepared to meet the test.
Calvin you have to have bouderies. You cannot think that you will R under any circumstances. There are some things you should not tolerate. That's that.
I know my husband loves me deeply. I know if we were not together it would devastate him.
There is another thing I know he would leave me under the right circumstances. . It would probably be very difficult.
You have to draw a line in the sand and never let her pass it. You will not be happy if she controls you.
Thank you Catherine,I am looking at the big picture here and I know there are some bumps along the way,I do have boundries in place and she know what they are,though its does feel lie she has pushed a couple of things.You are right about other man,I wont pay him any more attention,though I still would like to wring his neck.Yes the R does seems to move forward then back again but I feel we both are trying and some of it comes naturally on it own,we have a ways to go yet but I am optimisic Posted via Mobile Device
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Re: Finally...solid progress 
btw nice to meet u synthetic, haven't read or heard your story yet but maybe Kevin (Calvin) will show me or tell me..I'm interested 
