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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Talk About Divorce and Separation »Reconciliation » Finally...solid progress

Reconciliation This forum is for those focused on reconciliation and success stories from people who have been through separation and reconciled successfully.

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Old 03-02-2012, 07:29 AM   #76 (permalink)
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Default Re: Finally...solid progress

Thanks Sad,I really hope you are doing better and find peace and happiness,I KNOW you will,pease quit beating your self up,you dont deserve it.
Bandit,yes CSS has come a long way in a short time,she is determind to work on us and is always there for me,seems so ironic that the one that hurt me is the one I count on to help me (us) heal.CSS is one in a million and the love I have for her is incredible,I find myself racing home everyday so I cand hold her and love her,youre right sad we are very lucky
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Old 03-02-2012, 07:53 AM   #77 (permalink)
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I guess, in this case, an affair is what the two of you needed to find each other again. But man what a steep psychological and emotional price to pay! You're far from out of the woods. Hopefully your counselor is versed in PTSD and will be able to spot the warning signs and head them off. CSS needs to educate herself too so she can help get you through it.
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Old 03-03-2012, 12:40 PM   #78 (permalink)
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Had to go to K-Mart after work today,thats where they would meet,Christ...everything playing over in my head again,f#cing conflicting feelings except for one,I really want my pound of flesh from that no good piece of f#cking dirtbag...ugh!
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Old 03-03-2012, 01:13 PM   #79 (permalink)
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Had to go to K-Mart after work today,thats where they would meet,Christ...everything playing over in my head again,f#cing conflicting feelings except for one,I really want my pound of flesh from that no good piece of f#cking dirtbag...ugh!
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Reread the recent posts from your wife.

You can't change the past. What's done is done....but going forward you both can work on creating a marriage that is safe from either of you going through this again.

Ill hang in there if you do too.
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Old 03-03-2012, 01:25 PM   #80 (permalink)
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Had to go to K-Mart after work today,thats where they would meet,

Whoaaah. Wait a minute! They would meet in person?

I thought this was just an EA, over the phone e-mail stuff?
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Old 03-03-2012, 03:10 PM   #81 (permalink)
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No Bandit they did meet in th K-Mart lot,nothing happend physically,some hugs.Does that make it a PA? And yes I know for sure thats as far as it went,still bugs the **** out of me,hard to let go.I know she's commited to us and knows this guy is a lieing scumbag...You seem very wise Bandit,whats you take on this? She was nervous when they did this,hence a public place to meet,I guess so she could explain it as bumping into a old friend? I dont know,she said she didnt really know what to do so she suggested K-Mart.help me out here Bandit,your thoughts? She hates him,took her awhile to figure out what he was all about
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Old 03-03-2012, 03:22 PM   #82 (permalink)
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It just startled me that's all, when I read that. I had thought it was all e-mail and phone conversations between them.

How many times did they meet there? Night or day? Did they meet driving separate cars? What has she told you?

Kind of hard to believe it was just hugs. But that is the paranoid in me. I would think there had to at least be kissing involved if she had waited for him to get out of prison.
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Old 03-03-2012, 03:35 PM   #83 (permalink)
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I know what some people will say,trickle truth is in play here,its not,that stoped after a couple days of questioning,my questions have'nt stoped but nothing has changed with her answers,anytime a new detail comes up she tells me but those details are very small ie,where she parked,lenght of time 5 minutes,maybe 10 at the most.She never got into his work truck(loser doesnt own cr@p)he's never been in the truck I bought her,the details have'nt really changed.After following your story Bandit I value you opinion and would like to hear it,I've noticed you dont pull any punches,so give it to me please
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Old 03-03-2012, 03:51 PM   #84 (permalink)
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Okay,

Well, if she met him at night, all bets are off. I guess they could have just stood around and talked, but doesn't seem plausible if they had been waiting in anticipation for his release.

Maybe I'm wrong, but if I'm a horny ex-con whos been bottled up for a couple years, and I have been having an online fling with an old girlfriend who I (maybe) have been intimate with before, I'm going to want some make out time when I see her: kissing and hugging at the very, very least.

But in the end you'll need to trust what CSS has told you. From everything I've read in her posts she seems to be honest and forthright. She's you wife bro, you should know if she's telling the truth or stonewalling.
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Old 03-03-2012, 04:09 PM   #85 (permalink)
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Bandit it was during the day,he drove his work truck she drove the one I gave her,never at night,I would have been home anyway,one quick kiss on the lips,no tongue,he has been out of prison for a few years,yes I believe her,my questions sometimes never stop,she knows what he is all about,a loser who owns nothing,he tried to make himself out as a successful supervisor but he cant even tell the difference from the words to,too or two...loser.In you eyes Bandit was this a PA? from what happend,seems to be a grey area here for me
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Old 03-03-2012, 04:11 PM   #86 (permalink)
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I told Calvin right away about meeting up with him..first time at the park by my house, I walked up there with my dog..other 4 times it was at kmart parking lot we'd pull up find eachothers truck , stand ouside and talk and it lasted around 10 min each time...i was so nervous when we did meet up, it felt so weird..had no clue how to even go about meeting up with another man..I remember shaking and cutting it really short because of my nerves..I'd say "hey I gotta go" would hug him and literally run back in my truck and come home. It was scary but exciting but I couldn't really handle it...was so glad when I fin.ally confessed to Calvin..What I'm really worried about now is..Calvin is re-living this nightmare all over again in his head and I know he's hurting and I wanna make his hurt go away
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Old 03-03-2012, 04:13 PM   #87 (permalink)
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Know it still hurts sometimes...fn bad...but getting better
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Old 03-03-2012, 04:15 PM   #88 (permalink)
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Yes and you guys don't need a jaded two-time BS like me making things worse for you.

I like ya CSS, and I think you're a good lady. If what you told him is the truth, then stand by it.

Its going to take Calvin time to get past all this. Just be there for him.

And I think I've cause enough commotion for today. Bandit out...
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Old 03-03-2012, 04:17 PM   #89 (permalink)
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by the way, the times we met up Calvin was at work and kids were in school. We may not have met up much but we talked almost daily..again only talked when Calvin was at work..Gosh I am sich a peice of crap..how in the hell did I let myself get to that?? Why would I do things like that to hurt my family..What a fool I am! Could have lost Calvin forever! The relationship lasted 4 months...thank God it stopped when it did and thank God it did go farther...What a mess my head was...I was in lala land...I hate myself
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Old 03-03-2012, 04:20 PM   #90 (permalink)
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oops meant to say thank God it didn't go farther
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