She is moving back home.... - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 142 (permalink) Old 02-26-2012, 08:44 PM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

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I love to hear about the positive stuff. I wish you much luck in R. I can't help to feel a little jealous but very happy for you.
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Hang in there and thank you!

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post #17 of 142 (permalink) Old 02-26-2012, 09:11 PM
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Re: She is moving back home....

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Been on this site for almost a year now and started several threads. You can search them by clicking on my name and posts started by me. Think they are sorted by date.
I knew I'd been reading but didn't remember the details about her MLC, which is partly what I believe has happened to my H.
Glad you all got into MC.

How have your kids handled all of this?
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post #18 of 142 (permalink) Old 02-26-2012, 09:26 PM
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Re: She is moving back home....

This is me, how often where you guys talking when you were separated? Did you feel that you were making progress most of the time?
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post #19 of 142 (permalink) Old 02-27-2012, 10:38 AM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

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I knew I'd been reading but didn't remember the details about her MLC, which is partly what I believe has happened to my H.
Glad you all got into MC.

How have your kids handled all of this?
No kids which is a good thing and a bad thing. Sadly I think that never being able to conceive is part of the what may have sent her into questioning where her life was and did not go. May have put her into MLC. The good thing is if it did ever fail we could do it without damaging children.

I strongly recommend Divorce Busters which reading and rereading has kept me going. Especially with the theme of being patient through these foggy days.

I think it is sound guidance that may not always come from people posting here on TAM.
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post #20 of 142 (permalink) Old 02-27-2012, 10:44 AM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

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This is me, how often where you guys talking when you were separated? Did you feel that you were making progress most of the time?
Good question.

I think knowing that we both missed each other, it never went more than 4 days without talking. Since she left me, I was trying to give her space. I rarely called or emailed her unless she started a conversation and even then I was sparse.

We saw each other at least once a week through the toughest times, and after 2 months of this I put my foot down in a polite way and said we need to spend more time together or divorce. I was done with non-productive limbo. She then said she would do more time, which became weekend visits.

When she missed the second weekend, she was called out on it, as it put me back into limbo and this made her say she was through fo the third time. All my conversations going foward were about lawyers and dividing assets. That lasted 2 days and she came over and told me with tears she wanted to keep trying because she still loved me.

Three more weekends together and she surprised me with the coming home comment.

She is still very guarded and I know this may still fail in the end, but I think we are giving it the best shot.

Last edited by This is me; 02-27-2012 at 10:51 AM.
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post #21 of 142 (permalink) Old 03-03-2012, 06:18 AM
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Re: She is moving back home....

Are the two of you in any kind of counseling?
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post #22 of 142 (permalink) Old 03-04-2012, 06:09 PM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

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Are the two of you in any kind of counseling?
MC and IC each.. Have been for 4 months. We both agreed and found this one together which I believe is key.
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post #23 of 142 (permalink) Old 03-05-2012, 12:13 PM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

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How did it go first night back together?
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Not too bad and thanks for asking. She had been staying over for the past 3 weekends, so it wasn't unfimiliar. This morning was the first wake up to work morning, which went alright.

Some things fell right back into place and others will as time goes on.
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post #24 of 142 (permalink) Old 03-06-2012, 09:57 PM
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Re: She is moving back home....

I was just reading in another thread that your wife fit the WAW profile. I haven't read the books on the walkaways and believe my H is in MLC, could they be classified as being in both?

Some of the things I have seen has me believing MLC but WAH may also fit... Just curious.

I am pulling for you both!
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post #25 of 142 (permalink) Old 03-07-2012, 01:32 PM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

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I was just reading in another thread that your wife fit the WAW profile. I haven't read the books on the walkaways and believe my H is in MLC, could they be classified as being in both?

Some of the things I have seen has me believing MLC but WAH may also fit... Just curious.

I am pulling for you both!
Thank you Mama!

In my eyes they are the same exact thing just different by gender. Matter of fact in Divorce Busters she guides men with WAW's to the MLC section because they are so similar and should be treated the same way.

The fog of the MLC /WAW makes them look for the greenier grass that they will eventually see is not so green. There is hope if not too much damage is done and you can handle the patience. Unbelievable patience.

There are no gaurentees. Even with mine coming home, one more break and it could still end, but I think her fog lifted a little and we have many other hurdles ahead, but more hope than a couple of months ago.

I wish you well Mama. I am praying for you!

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post #26 of 142 (permalink) Old 03-12-2012, 09:27 PM
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Re: She is moving back home....

TIM, im so glad to hear that you guys decided to give it a go and try reconciliation.

My hubby also just moved back home 3 weeks ago, he let go of his apartment and sold his furniture and moved everything back to our home. After living apart for 12 months its scary and terrifiying for both of us....its been one hell of a bumpy 3 weeks and each week in our marriage counselling it has been an emotional session for both of us.

We are both still unsure about a lot of things and He is still very confused about his feelings specially seeing that he is still dealing with his depression.

I just want to to drop you a line and say how happy i am toward this progress you both are making. I have to warn you that its just the beginning of a very long and hard journey towards healing and restoring connections.

I wish you both all the best and i shall continue to follow your updates....i hope to keep hearing good news from you
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post #27 of 142 (permalink) Old 03-17-2012, 10:10 PM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

Thanks DU. I am happy for you and wish you both all the best. I undertand this will be a very long process and have seen some great and not so great moments already.

She has been open to joining a marriage restoration program that will start in a few weeks. This along with MC and IC are giving us better chances.

She is recoverying from surgery and has allowed me to show her that I am here for her. Filling that love bank and not looking for withdrawals.

All the best!!
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post #28 of 142 (permalink) Old 03-27-2012, 06:54 PM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

Well almost a month back home and seems to be moving in the right direction. I find myself coming to this site less and less because things are better.

Please keep us in your prayers as I pray for all of you here.
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post #29 of 142 (permalink) Old 03-27-2012, 07:11 PM
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Re: She is moving back home....

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Well almost a month back home and seems to be moving in the right direction. I find myself coming to this site less and less because things are better.

Please keep us in your prayers as I pray for all of you here.
I'm glad to hear things are going well for you. I hope you'll continue to update us when you have the time
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post #30 of 142 (permalink) Old 03-27-2012, 07:37 PM
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Re: She is moving back home....

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Well almost a month back home and seems to be moving in the right direction. I find myself coming to this site less and less because things are better.

Please keep us in your prayers as I pray for all of you here.
It's good to hear. But don't get lackidasical. Stay vigilent and crispy. You're not out of the woods by a longshot.

I guess I'll be the one to ask. Are you and your wife being intimate again?
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