She is moving back home.... - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 142 (permalink) Old 03-30-2012, 02:54 PM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

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Originally Posted by bandit.45 View Post
It's good to hear. But don't get lackidasical. Stay vigilent and crispy. You're not out of the woods by a longshot.

I guess I'll be the one to ask. Are you and your wife being intimate again?
I understand this move back does not gaurentee anything, so it can be trying at times. With the whole experience of the last year, damaged extended family relationships and diminished trust, it is a tough road, but we have this chance.

She agreed to do a Marriage Restoration Clinic with other couples that starts in a couple weeks, along with MC. A positive sign, the tools are in place.

We have not been intimate, which has been very tough on me who has touch as the number one love language. This needs a little explaination though. She asked for a little time when she came back and then had a partial Hysterectomy (sp). She is still recovering.

I guess the hard part for me is knowing that there is still things she could do to ease my desires, but has not offered and I have been advised not to pursue till she is ready. Since she has not been an initiator since we first got married 17 years ago, I question whether she will ever ask.

I have my mind set that I will not push it till she is fully recovered, we are doing the MR course. I will not go on forever in a sexless marriage, but have come this far and will give her the chance to wake up and smell the marriage.

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post #32 of 142 (permalink) Old 03-30-2012, 04:44 PM
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Re: She is moving back home....

This is Me - Is she on some kind of hormone replacement therapy?
Very, very important to get the hormones balanced to feel sexual desire.
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post #33 of 142 (permalink) Old 03-31-2012, 09:52 AM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

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This is Me - Is she on some kind of hormone replacement therapy?
Very, very important to get the hormones balanced to feel sexual desire.
She only had a partial, which will leave the hormone cycles in place until natural menopause, which should be in about 10 years according to her sisters experiences.

Could she still have an imbalance? I think it is possible. According to our MC she lost trust and from what I read she will not desire and welcome me until she builds that back and drops the defensive wall.

Good news though. This morning she helped ease my desires a bit. It is another step in the right direction.
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post #34 of 142 (permalink) Old 03-31-2012, 03:03 PM
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Re: She is moving back home....

Lucky devil!
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post #35 of 142 (permalink) Old 04-17-2012, 06:03 AM
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Re: She is moving back home....

Hi
Just wondering how it was going for you?
Hope all is well
DG
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post #36 of 142 (permalink) Old 04-21-2012, 09:00 AM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

Well closing in on two months back home and things are going well. We had MC last night and it was a good session. She said some hurtful things again, but I will take the pain for the gain.

I stood my ground in a very postive way and was proud of myself to hear her side of things, still some rewritten history, but always made sure I brought my comments back to a vision of where I want things to go.

Our MC sessions are now every other week and for the last two, I have made sure I clearly stated that I have this dream and hope that our marriage will become better than it was. I think she is seeing the possiblilty as well.

I asked her flat out if she is happy how things are going and with slight hesitation, only slight she said good. She also added that she has been having feelings again. Melt my heart.

This morning in bed she held my hand for the longest time and it was the most obvious signs she has given since returning home.

Staying the course. Wishing all here well!
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post #37 of 142 (permalink) Old 04-21-2012, 09:21 AM
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Re: She is moving back home....

ThisIsMe, I think you have the patience of a saint. Did you do the Marriage Restoration Clinic?
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post #38 of 142 (permalink) Old 04-21-2012, 11:53 AM
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Re: She is moving back home....

Im glad things are going well for you.
You are a very kind and patient man. i hope your wife appreciates this.
Hugs
DG
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post #39 of 142 (permalink) Old 04-21-2012, 04:34 PM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

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ThisIsMe, I think you have the patience of a saint. Did you do the Marriage Restoration Clinic?
Thank you for the very kind words. We did the first clinic with 7 to go. We talked about it a bit in MC and she gave positive signs that she was receptive and interested.

I glanced at her a couple times during the 2 hour workshop and I was reading her face as if she was saying she hated my guts for bringing her there, but I think I mis-read or caught her at bad times.

We each had a chance to talk (two other couples and the moderators at the table). We were instructed to focus on our own contributions to our marriage issues, and she kind of broke the rules by blaming me and the moderators were supposed to step in, but didn't. But I was glad she was there, so I let it slide.

I am looking forward to some of the future topics we will be discussing. Including softening of the heart and forgiveness, which I think are critical.

Thanks for asking.
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post #40 of 142 (permalink) Old 04-21-2012, 04:49 PM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

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Im glad things are going well for you.
You are a very kind and patient man. i hope your wife appreciates this.
Hugs
DG
Thank you for the very kind words. My heart is touched by your support. I think she sees the best part of me, but has built a wall from some of the worst parts. Some true, some exaggerated to justify.

All I know is that I love her and want my wife back. I dream of a great marriage, that I believe we once had. I am hoping she can invision a great marriage and help us find it with each other.

I think it is very possible.

All the best to you!

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post #41 of 142 (permalink) Old 04-22-2012, 09:20 AM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

Sunday morning in bed was very sweet. The signs she show Saturday morning with the holding was twice as nice this morning.

Smiling with a warmed heart.
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post #42 of 142 (permalink) Old 04-22-2012, 11:28 AM
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Re: She is moving back home....

Im so happy for you this is me, i wish you all the best, make me believe once again ghat miracles do exist
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post #43 of 142 (permalink) Old 04-22-2012, 10:45 PM
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Re: She is moving back home....

This_is_Me, I have to say reading through your stuff I'm so hopeful right now for the future. Patience and love is stronger than resentment and distance.

I'm also hopeful as me and my wife are on the same path. She has decided that she doesn't want out the way she thought and has decided MC and IC is a good idea.

I wish you the best and want to keep reading about your marriage improving.
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post #44 of 142 (permalink) Old 04-23-2012, 06:09 AM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

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This_is_Me, I have to say reading through your stuff I'm so hopeful right now for the future. Patience and love is stronger than resentment and distance.

I'm also hopeful as me and my wife are on the same path. She has decided that she doesn't want out the way she thought and has decided MC and IC is a good idea.

I wish you the best and want to keep reading about your marriage improving.
That is great news Mtts! Keep us posted and all the best to you.
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post #45 of 142 (permalink) Old 04-23-2012, 09:56 PM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

So we are at the marriage workshop tonght and at one point she holds my hand. I am smiling.
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