She is moving back home.... - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
Reconciliation This forum is for those focused on reconciliation and success stories from people who have been through separation and reconciled successfully.

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post #61 of 142 (permalink) Old 05-06-2012, 03:47 PM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

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Originally Posted by scione View Post
"This is me," thank you for sharing your reconciliation story with us. Keep us posted . There are always skeptics. I am one of them, but I'm hoping you and your wife would make it. Don't be discouraged to post more.

I'm wondering if your wife has ever felt sorry for how she treated you and if she stops blaming you for all the problems. Other than starting to show affections, does she open up to you and tell you all the problems so this would not happen again?
Thank you Scione. I am forgetting the screen name of the female who's husband just moved home and last I saw she signed off this website to work on the marriage and not let this website influence her.

I know in some dark moments of pain reading some advice on TAM could have ended my marriage of nearly 18 years. I credit the book Divorce Busters for helping me see the forest for the trees and understanding that if I really want this marriage I will need to show extreme patience. Especially with a MLC.

To answer your question, she has. In MC and alone, she has acknowledged the pain she has caused and shown signs of empathy. Honestly, the wall has gone back up to some degree after, but overall it has come down dramatically. I think it will take time for her and I am willing to give it.

Lets face it though, we are all responsible to some degree, so for me I have also acknowledged any pain I may have caused her. I am grateful she is in MC and going to Marriage Workshop with me. That in of itself is a sign of showing a willingness to work on it.

I think the blame she has put on me has become more obvious to her in our sessions. She built up resentment by dwelling on little issues, I should say little to me, not to her. I have asked for her forgiveness and only She can forgive, let go and move on to fully open up, but this may take time, and only she can give free herself and our marriage.

We both know I am the one willing to talk, she clams up and would rather run from talking. What talking we have done, we have done it wrong through the years. We brought contradicting styles of communication into this marriage. Her parents are much different than mine.

According to her, her parents never fought. She even asked them. They claim they never did. I think she has no reference as to how to disagree it in a healthy way. I think it is typical for couples to disagree from time to time, but it is how they resolve that makes the difference. If her parents did not teach her, how would she know?

All I know is she is here, she is working on it and we have hope for the future.

Please pray for us!

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post #62 of 142 (permalink) Old 05-09-2012, 08:12 PM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

Just heard this song. How appropriate!

Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up [Official Music Video] - YouTube
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post #63 of 142 (permalink) Old 05-11-2012, 11:52 AM
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Re: She is moving back home....

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touching song - sad story - i played this song to my wife a week before she left me......love the song..
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post #64 of 142 (permalink) Old 05-12-2012, 11:54 AM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

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touching song - sad story - i played this song to my wife a week before she left me......love the song..
Sorry that it is sad for you. Do you still have hope? Is this recent? If so have patience. Mine left for 4 months and came back. Her love is growing.

So for me the song is an anthem!
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post #65 of 142 (permalink) Old 05-12-2012, 11:56 AM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

Great news this morning. We had MC last night, went well. Things are so well that we ended early. This morning she initiated some maintenance of my needs. Still working on this but getting better and better. Patience! What a great sign and hope for our future!
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post #66 of 142 (permalink) Old 05-12-2012, 12:00 PM
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Re: She is moving back home....

Yay Glad your patience is paying off.
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post #67 of 142 (permalink) Old 05-12-2012, 12:16 PM
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Re: She is moving back home....

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Sorry that it is sad for you. Do you still have hope? Is this recent? If so have patience. Mine left for 4 months and came back. Her love is growing.

So for me the song is an anthem!
Well not really - shes been gone 2 months and I believe to be living with someone else - and I do not think I can forgive her for what's happened - to be blind-sided the way I was....plus I've orked through the pain - why go back and go through this again?
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post #68 of 142 (permalink) Old 05-12-2012, 01:49 PM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

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Well not really - shes been gone 2 months and I believe to be living with someone else - and I do not think I can forgive her for what's happened - to be blind-sided the way I was....plus I've orked through the pain - why go back and go through this again?
I am sorry to hear that. In my case she shocked me with the classica walk away wife syndrome or mid-life crisis. We came very close to divorce, but things took a turn for the better.

I credit my patience to the book Divorce Busters.

I wish you well. Better days are ahead.
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post #69 of 142 (permalink) Old 05-12-2012, 03:45 PM
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Re: She is moving back home....

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I credit my patience to the book Divorce Busters.
I just ordered that book. Should have it Monday. Do you recommend it for the WS? I want to read it first, then maybe have him take a look.
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post #70 of 142 (permalink) Old 05-13-2012, 03:27 AM
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Re: She is moving back home....

Okay - I dont have funds to buy the book - what would divorce busters suggest I do in my situation 1st and foremost - we arent communicating and havent been for weeks..I do not see how it could work...

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post #71 of 142 (permalink) Old 05-13-2012, 08:26 AM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

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I just ordered that book. Should have it Monday. Do you recommend it for the WS? I want to read it first, then maybe have him take a look.
She writes about having the WS reading it. If you can get them to great!
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post #72 of 142 (permalink) Old 05-14-2012, 10:41 AM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

She actually told me she loves me this weekend. It was a very nice weekend.

Keep pushing on!
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post #73 of 142 (permalink) Old 05-15-2012, 05:24 AM
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Re: She is moving back home....

Hi This is me,
Things are going well for you! Thats great!
Slow but steady progress my friend
Really happy for you.
Things going well here too.
Just updated if your interested.
Take Care
DG
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post #74 of 142 (permalink) Old 05-15-2012, 08:49 AM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

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Hi This is me,
Things are going well for you! Thats great!
Slow but steady progress my friend
Really happy for you.
Things going well here too.
Just updated if your interested.
Take Care
DG
That is great news!!! I am interested. Thanks for updating.

All the best to you!!
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post #75 of 142 (permalink) Old 05-18-2012, 07:46 AM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

Last night in bed she turned to me and said "I Love you".

To think where we have been over the past year and what the future could bring. But most important is living in the moment.

I hope my posted journey from D day to hearing ILY last night brings hope and maybe some ideas to those who are hoping to save their marriage.
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