Re: She is moving back home....
This Is Me,
Your posts are inspirational. My wife told my on vday ILYBNILWY. Killed me. Said there was some hope, but not much. Scheduled counseling. Had our first session last week March 3 and she said afterwards she had hope. was at about 80/20. However we agreed to a separation to figure things out. It made her feel good to have a plan. I then went nuts, begging, pleading, crying, bargaining. I just couldn't leave her alone. Part of that was because she started talking to other people. Guys from Ireland on a dating website. 5 days after counseling (on my bday) I find her texting a new guy she met on one of her nights "Out". She can't stop thinking about him. He's so charming and sexy.... blah blah blah.
Killed me inside, but she basically told me there is no hope. I showed that to her this week by my constant pushing. And that I'm pushing her into someone else's arms... I know that part isn't true. That is her choice, but it still hurts.
She tells me that she will always love me. That I was her everything for a long time, but it's different now. She said she still have glimmers of hope that one day we will find each other again. She says that she honestly believes she'll never open her heart to anyone else and fall as deep as she did for me. She has commitment and anxiety issues.
She says that she just can't be bubbly self around me because her anxiety takes over because she thinks I'm going to have a mood swing. It's a fair assessment. I need to fix that part of me.
I still have hope. I love her, we are still going to counseling. I'm hoping the fog will lift eventually, and we can find each other's hearts again. I will never give up.
I am going to go NC except for counseling and our 4 year old. Maybe it's a bad idea, but she needs that space. She felt good (well somewhat hopeful) about our future when I told her I'd give it to her last week, but then I went all nuts.