She is moving back home.... - Page 8 - Talk About Marriage
Reconciliation This forum is for those focused on reconciliation and success stories from people who have been through separation and reconciled successfully.

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post #106 of 142 (permalink) Old 03-07-2013, 02:53 AM
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Re: She is moving back home....

Hi TIM
How's things going for you.
Would love an update if you've got time


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post #107 of 142 (permalink) Old 03-07-2013, 09:50 PM
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Re: She is moving back home....

I second what daisy has said
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post #108 of 142 (permalink) Old 03-10-2013, 10:14 AM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

My marriage is better than ever. Thanks to those who have had interest and best wishes to all that truly want to reconcile as this area is set up for working through.
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post #109 of 142 (permalink) Old 03-10-2013, 04:36 PM
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Re: She is moving back home....

Hi This.

I just read all your posts on this thread. It makes a great story. Way to go

MT
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post #110 of 142 (permalink) Old 05-17-2013, 08:02 PM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

Just an update. Things have never been better. Love is strong, romance is great and wishing all that want to reconcile the best days ahead!
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post #111 of 142 (permalink) Old 09-01-2013, 10:48 AM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

Its been months since I have stopped by TAM. Thought I should give an update.

Like my last post, our marriage is better than ever. We just got back from a week vacation and it could not have been more loving and respectful.

Wishing all who want to reconcile the patience and wisdom to make it through the storm!

Last edited by This is me; 09-08-2013 at 10:02 AM.
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post #112 of 142 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 10:04 AM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

I remember how shocked I was to find my marriage in turmoil. It was very confusing how my wife had gone that far to call for divorce. I was determined to do all I could to save it, understanding it may still fail.

In hindsight it was clearly a midlife crisis combined with her being surrounded by some wounded people giving her bad advice. I see alot of that same bad advice given at this website, by wounded people here with their own problems. I personally experienced this and would have ended my marriage if I took their advice.

My marriage is now stronger than it was before her MLC which is a temporary mental glitch that many suffer. It passes and requires patience and those on the receiving end to not add fuel to the fire.

All the best to those who will look at the forest for the trees.
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post #113 of 142 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 11:27 AM
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Re: She is moving back home....

TIM, thank you for the positive story. I have been looking for positive stories on here to feed off of instead of all the negative stories. My situation is a tough one, but luckily not as complicated as most I've seen on here. We are beginning our separation tonight and I'm hoping it does the trick. We are both on the same page and hopeful. Another boost was that her best friend that she has confided in for a long time finally chimed in and told her that she believes it to be just a couple week thing and we'll be fine because we love each other so much.
The huge thing is my wife as seen the attempt by me the last month, but living in limbo is difficult. We need to miss each other a little, her missing me more than me missing her. Keeping my fingers crossed. Thanks again!!!
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post #114 of 142 (permalink) Old 10-26-2013, 01:47 PM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

Oblivious has the healthy perspective that I was seeking here during my toughest days. I think that is the right thing to do, which is reading positive stories and learning from those who found ways to make things right, or at least give it the best shot. Dwelling on negative feeds and creates more negative in my humble opinion.

I almost got booted from here months ago for pointing out that this section should be as it is titled..."This forum is for those focused on reconciliation and success stories from people who have been through separation and reconciled successfully." Too many stories here were just like the other sections filled with negativity. This one place should be for those seeking hope.

I understand it is human nature to be interested in train wrecks, but for those in weak moments or of weak mind, they should not start out looking for reconciliation stories and be reading just the opposite when they get in this area.

I have never been in more love with my wife and I think she would say the same about me. We made it through an awful period and almost lost each other. I credit support from good people at this website and my own ability to discern the bad advise some were giving me. It took a ton of patience, good material like "Divorce Remedy", a good pro-marriage counselor, and marriage workshops offered by a local faith group.

Wishing all who read this the best and the drive to make lemonade out of a lemon situation.
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post #115 of 142 (permalink) Old 10-26-2013, 07:21 PM
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Re: She is moving back home....

TIM, you are absolutely correct that people are attracted to train wrecks. I have come a long way in the 7 weeks since you saw my post on here. We are still 'status quo', but hopefully we are seeing MC soon. If you have time, read over my thread in the considering separation part. Patience is the main component of my game plan as well. I firmly believe that my wife is going through a MLC also with my flaws over the last 2 years mixed in. The recent talk we had this past week helped I think. Keep us in your prayers please and thanks again for the inspiration for a positive outcome.

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post #116 of 142 (permalink) Old 10-27-2013, 06:06 PM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

You got it O! Prayers coming your way. Keep the faith.
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post #117 of 142 (permalink) Old 10-27-2013, 07:52 PM
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Re: She is moving back home....

I am so happy for you TIM. I wished my stbxh and I could reconciled. I asked but he doesn't want to and I am not going to push him again.

Keep enjoying life!
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post #118 of 142 (permalink) Old 10-30-2013, 07:39 PM Thread Starter
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Re: She is moving back home....

Thanks ne9907! I wish you all the best. I don't know your story, but I am a hopeless optimist and believer that if one person really wants to save a marriage, and is willing to be the good example, the odds go way up for the potential to save it.

My Wife was gone, was certain she was done three times. Hardest time of my life. Terribly sad. But in the final hour she knew how I felt and all the efforts I made, and she slowly came back and it was worth the wait.

Don't throw in the towel if there is an ounce of hope, no matter what they tell you.

All the best to you!
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post #119 of 142 (permalink) Old 03-11-2014, 12:24 PM
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Re: She is moving back home....

This Is Me,

Your posts are inspirational. My wife told my on vday ILYBNILWY. Killed me. Said there was some hope, but not much. Scheduled counseling. Had our first session last week March 3 and she said afterwards she had hope. was at about 80/20. However we agreed to a separation to figure things out. It made her feel good to have a plan. I then went nuts, begging, pleading, crying, bargaining. I just couldn't leave her alone. Part of that was because she started talking to other people. Guys from Ireland on a dating website. 5 days after counseling (on my bday) I find her texting a new guy she met on one of her nights "Out". She can't stop thinking about him. He's so charming and sexy.... blah blah blah.

Killed me inside, but she basically told me there is no hope. I showed that to her this week by my constant pushing. And that I'm pushing her into someone else's arms... I know that part isn't true. That is her choice, but it still hurts.

She tells me that she will always love me. That I was her everything for a long time, but it's different now. She said she still have glimmers of hope that one day we will find each other again. She says that she honestly believes she'll never open her heart to anyone else and fall as deep as she did for me. She has commitment and anxiety issues.

She says that she just can't be bubbly self around me because her anxiety takes over because she thinks I'm going to have a mood swing. It's a fair assessment. I need to fix that part of me.

I still have hope. I love her, we are still going to counseling. I'm hoping the fog will lift eventually, and we can find each other's hearts again. I will never give up.

I am going to go NC except for counseling and our 4 year old. Maybe it's a bad idea, but she needs that space. She felt good (well somewhat hopeful) about our future when I told her I'd give it to her last week, but then I went all nuts.
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post #120 of 142 (permalink) Old 03-13-2014, 09:19 PM
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Re: She is moving back home....

Quote:
Originally Posted by This is me View Post
The million dollar question which the MC will explore. I believe a series of reasons, including love. We have shared some close moments in recent visits. I believe she is showing signs of waking from the MLC fog a bit.

It will be a rough road ahead with all the complications of other relationships, which we have already acknowledged.

Wish us well with positive thoughts.
All the best, stay calm, consistent and constant. Be steady, when she has a crap day just be you and ride it, not everything is going to be about you - regardless of trust issues, past hurts etc love her unconditionally. That doesn't mean be a doormat and let her treat you bad but what she does doesn't stop you loving her just as much. That's what hurts so much, when our partner cheats be it PA or EA we don't stop loving them, we hurt because we do love them. I'm sure if you're both committed to making it work then you will - no matter the motives!! Go hard mate.

Edit, the above still stands regardless of your current spot, keep loving her, let her know you do and go work on yourself. Get strong to handle whatever happens, if she says there's hope then there's hope. She is hurting, confused and probably scared too, be the steady one and she will hopefully come back to your rock.

Last edited by Whatthe??; 03-13-2014 at 09:27 PM. Reason: update
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